Sunday, February 6, 2011

There You Stayed 'Til Morning Came

You gave your life to Jesus Christ, and eased the people's pain after that.

Today I found out that a dear friend of mine's ex-boyfriend passed away. They have been broken up for a year, but they were still on amicable terms. In fact, at ACTF I saw a production of Once on This Island, and there was an actor who looked exactly like him! I e-mailed my friend to tell her how funny it was to see this ghost of boyfriend past singing and jumping about in poofy white pants. She was amused and told me he was actually in Thailand right now, so poofy pants were a real possibility!

I didn't love this guy. However, I did like him. I spent a good amount of time with the kid: a night at an Irish pub, a black and white film downtown, a kickball tournament--to name a few.

So, he was hiking with friends and veered away from the group and ended up dying in a waterfall. It is unfortunate? I guess that's a pretty good way to go. Also, this guy had been out of college for a few years now, and he was always a totally happy dude...except when it came to figuring out his career. He was smart and capable, but no working life seemed to appeal to him. At least not enough to get him pumped about it, and he was the kid of guy who wanted to be motivated about big choices.

But, now, it turns out, he really didn't have to worry. His number was up before he even got past the chill-out and travel lifestyle. In this case, to me, it actually does feel like "his time."

I've never been afraid of death. Just not a concern of mine. I guess because it seems like...yeah, if you'll be why would you worry about that? I guess I don't believe in hell. If I did, maybe I'd fret more. But today while I was on my run, I felt especially unafraid of death.

A. (This has happened before) I saw right through it as a significant element to life.
B. I felt overwhelmed with this gaping idea, swallowing me whole: You've got a lot to do. And while I often don't know exactly what that IS, I've got some leads, and, apparently, I've got a lot to do.

'Til someone died on the waterslide, and you were not the same after that.

1 comment:

courtneyfloatsyourboat said...

This is a really powerful post.