Thursday, May 19, 2011

After A While, Crocodile

Cast of Spelling Bee--an "in character" shot.

At the end of strike, we stood in a clump watching some tech guys dismantle the bleachers we sat on for hours every night for the past two months. It was time to go, and we each took turns hugging each other. Goodbyes are not as difficult after Sunday matinees. You know you are about to go home, have dinner with family, drive in the sunshine. It's much harder in the night. Alone.

As I left the theatre for the last time, I did know just how final everything was. I am moving across the country soon. I have no family and dwindling friends in St. Louis--barely a reason to return, let alone be in the area enough to bump into anyone I met on this show. I liked everyone, but I didn't truly become close with anyone. And, I don't have a Facebook. I will really probably never see these people again.

Schwartzy's car was parked near mine. We laughed and razzed even as we were walking farther and farther away from each other. I saw her small in the distance, and she was still yelling, "You know what, Alice?!" and I was laughing. She opened her Jeep door, waved, and then, "Hey," she said. "Hey. I hope we do meet each other again. If only so I can prove to you I am just a little bit more successful."

I crumpled into my car, chuckling, putting on my sunglasses. I did not know the void of nothingness could be so bright. "So longs" happen at Chuck-E-Cheeses and open mic nights--not just prison and graduations.

Girl talk with LC and Muff in my bed this week made me feel like college never ends.

When I had driven Muff to the airport just a few hours before the final curtain call, I said, "It's all good because we will definitely see each other again. Unless one of us dies first." As if there's an alternative to those options.

Goodbye, you were good but not good enough.
So please don't ask why. Simply say, "Goodbye!"

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