Monday, April 11, 2011

I Am Falling Asleep (I Usually Don't Blog Tired, But Tonight I Feel Like This Is Really Important. It's Probs Not.)

I love the Scream trilogy. That is such an understatement. I really really REALLY love the Scream films. I am borderline obsessed? I just can't ever get enough. I've seen them...boatloads of times, and I always want to immediately rewatch. I have one billion favorite scenes.

In preparation for Scream IV coming out this weekend (side: OMG OMG OMG!) LC, Pookie, and I had a marathon over the past couple days. Tonight, on my way to Pookie's for numero tres from musical rehearsal, the credit music from the second movie came up on shuffle. I was so happy. Just...beaming.

It's spring. The heat is surrounding me from the roads up. My windows were down, the volume high, the 90s jam was bumpin'. I felt 100% content. I just love so many things--books by Jerry Spinelli, edamamae, my pink running shorts, tulips blooming in Forest Park--and they are all mine. Mine. Mine. Mine. I don't have to share with anyone. And, you know, I do. But, it feels...half-hearted. "In Craven we trust!" I exclaimed to our trio, but if I were alone, I would be just as animated. No one else was in my car. No one else was in my thoughts.

I remember the first springy day in Chicago my sophomore year of high school. I felt like my leg marrow had been scooped out. I really wanted a boyfriend. I'm fairly certain I wasn't interested in anybody, but that didn't stop me from pining pining pining away for someone to share the grass under my feet and the Wicked soundtrack--which I had just gotten into.

I don't know what to make of those high school desires. Was I naive? Or, is a want a want? All I know now is that right now I have zero desire to share anything with anyone. Don't get me wrong, friends and family out there reading, I still love you, but I also love all this other stuff, and I like loving it alone.

I just love Diana Ross too much.
I just love cacti too much.
I just love brown houses and muddy rivers too much.
And magic tricks and buttons and the word "moon" and a piano tune.

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