Roommate Things

My roommates are perfect. They are friendly, considerate, clean, and we're all pretty quiet. We keep different schedules, and I sometimes don't see one of the other for a few days at a time. Zeta, generally a bit shy, recently told me I should get a leather jacket to look tough on my scooter. Beta watches a lot of Teen Mom. I find them both very attractive looking humans, and they don't even have to try. Their whole family is this way. When I come home and the sisters and parents are all in the kitchen sorting leftovers from some family event, I feel like Charlize Theron in Monster. RAWWWWR I HIDE IN MY ROOM AND WRITE PLAYS YOU GUYS COULD ALL BE MODELS RAWWR GONNA GO MEET CHRISTINA RICCI AT THE ROLLER RINK.

Here's some proof from Zeta's birthday last year:

Pretty Roomies. 2011.

So, I like 'em, but we're not friend-friends. We're profesh. SO, Beta texts me sometimes, but not like "Haha joke joke joke" texts. Like, "the hot water will be shut off tomorrow at 10" texts. Hence, when I got a text from her yesterday that said "Hey I accidentally opened your book package! I didn't read the label and thought it was mine!" I was kind of surprised she even bothered. Not a big deal obviously. I texted back "OMG MY PRIVACY! Just kidding, it's fine."She: "Haha ok good lol." Odd. ESPECIALLY when I got home and the package was only halfway opened. No big!

And then I saw what Beta would have seen.

Just the title of the textbook peeking through the package.

In huge black all caps,"GAY SHAME."

Uh oh. It was for a class! I was taking an English class on Queer Theory (that I actually ended up dropping but already had bought some books)! I laughed and called out to Beta in the living room, "OH! Haha this is for a class! You were probably like 'what?'! Haha! But! It! Well, it was a class at least, I'm not in it anymore...but ha...ha..." I trail off and Beta does a really giant I'm-Letting-You-Know-I'm-Comfortable smile. This is what I call some STRAIGHT SHAME.