Last week when I had that horrendous meltdown on public transportation, I remember seeing myself in the train window and literally saying "Woof" because MAN, did I look haggard. I walked by a sea of folks on the way to the bathroom, and it was like I could read their minds: "That girl has given up on life. Yowza."
At the time I was like, "Yeah? What of it?" I'm not trying to impress train riff raff. Because, you know what, we can't be beautiful all the time. But yesterday while I was sweating it out at the gym, I realized, "Yeah, actually, we CAN be beautiful all the time, and we SHOULD."
Rick, Mahji, Koon--Japan, November 2008
I was watching Japan on CNN and feeling crushed under the rubble myself. This has been a rocky couple weeks for a lot of people I know--including an entire country. And as the news faded to a commercial, I saw my own reflection in the screen. I did not look beautiful. Now, I don't mean we should always be dressed for success with make-up on and hair quaffed--I mean the simplest beauty. Like, a smile. Not plastered, just slight, natural. The way we should NATURALLY feel as beautiful expressions of Life.
IL farmland, March 2011
Or, you know, removing our eyes from sunken ruts. And giving thanks for water bottles, clouds, seafoam green combs.
Because the more we satisfy ourselves with being less than Beauty, the more ugly we chuck into the world. And the world don't need it.
Pookie, Mama, Me--May 2009
So I lightened my face--sweaty as it was--and jogged away. Freer, safer, sounder.
Why does it hurt me to feel so much tenderness?