A few years ago I worked on a flex team for an alumni event at my college. I ran around arranging centerpieces, unfolding and refolding chairs, posting signs etc. A job like that makes you realize, "Oh, somebody DID all this stuff. And that person is probably exhausted."
As I was leaving work for the final time on Friday, I noticed a display of book son tape in the center of the lobby. The display changes all the time. I thought, "Wow. That was really thoughtful." Whoever is in charge or the display realized a lot of students would be making long drives soon and wanted to remind them that books on tape are a good way to pass the time. But who do I throw kudos to? The front desk student don't care. I felt silly seeking out the head librarian to inform her I like something. There's a fine line of gratitude and egotism I'd be walking, right? "Excuse me, I know your time is important, but I want to inform you of an opinion I have (albeit positive)."
The only thing I could think of was "liking" the display. You know? Like a Facebook "like." Having a tiny yellow Post-It, writing "Alice likes this," and sticking it to the books on tape. Wouldn't that be nice? If the things we did in life were sometimes met with tiny near-effortless notes from strangers?
I'd much prefer that system of "liking" than the one most of the world operates on:
"OMG CRAZI NITE!! IF U C MY PHONE--CALL ME!!LOL!! OOPSIES! xoxo"
Shannon "Hottie" Smith and 9 others Liked this.
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
Ideas on Good Deeding
One year ago.
There's this FRIENDS episode about Phoebe trying to prove that you can help others for the sake of helping others--not just because you want to feel good about yourself. This is a pretty interesting debate: Can you actually help others and reap no benefits? If not, then are you ever truly being "a good person"? Is everyone just trying to feel like good people?
Today I had quite a revelation about this. Being a good person, helping others, doing your best, makes you feel good because it IS good for you. Like natural exercise, like eating vegetables. It all works in a cycle. You might initially do something because you are supposed to or you're trying to feel good, but it very naturally feels good once you're doing it (running despite the heat, eating the spinach, writing the new short story).
So, no, there is no "true" good deed in the sense that you do it and get nothing in return--but who says that's a sensical definition? That's not how Life rewards you for living in harmony with Goodness. You don't have to feel like a jerk for trying to be good, for doing good even though your first instinct might not be to do it. That's not insincere. Why would you feel like a jerk for feeling healthy after eating some broccoli?
When you give to a worthy cause,
you'll feel as jolly as Santa Claus!
Monday, June 6, 2011
Sophomore at Life (Warning: Reflective Navel-Gazing Ahead)
On Friday May 15, 2009, I had a little pub date with a college friend just finishing his first year out of school. I wrote about it on my old blog:
"I got to thinking a lot about my future. Promises about post-graduation to myself:
1. Continue education
2. Continue art
3. Make new local friends
4. Self-evaluate
5. Do things before responsibilities kick in"
Today is my first official day of unemployment. My contracts just ended Friday, and the summer will be a whirlwind of travel, planning, projects, and rebooting before I start graduate school. Overall, I am very pleased with how I handled my first year out of school. I have made lists (in my diary) of all the ways I grew, lessons I learned, opportunities I had because of what I chose to do with myself since I got my diploma.
When Facebook added that little empty box ("Write something about yourself.") my sister wrote "Write something about myself?! This whole dang page is about myself!" I thought that was very funny. Anyway, I realize this whole blog is about me, but for a moment I am going to celebrate my accomplishments. Without intention, I did a darn good job staying in line with the goals I set myself as a junior in college.
1. I audited two college classes, read three books on comedy and acting, and got on track for graduate school.
2. One musical, one big improv show, and a lot of little improv jams all year. Creative writing club, the St. Louis One-Act Festival, and ACTF with Huntie.
3. Being an improv teacher and getting involved with that community led to a bunch of new friendships--way deeper than I would have guessed when I started up with these comedy shenanigans. I am also sure if I were staying in the area I'd be keeping up with many more people I've met in the past few months. Interesting folk are everywhere.
4. My bosses didn't offer me a ton of feedback about my work, and I not only learned to self-evaluate, but enjoyed doing so.
5. Although I was highly-motivated and busy all year, I still acted like a 22-year old. I stayed up all night watching movies sometimes. I went on a Spring Break trip to the beach. I ate lots of cookies. I was poor and dressed like a hobo usually, but I occasionally splurged on stuff I didn't need (froyo, theatre, random Groupons). I spent a lot of time training for a marathon--no idea how working stiffs handle that schedule. I had house guests every other week.
Plus, lots of amazing things happened this year totally unrelated to my goals. Muff's marriage, getting to be with my sister, some enjoyable Chicago trips, learning so much about teaching, making an unexpected close friend (LC)...I guess what I mean to say is there's nothing inherently scary about leaving school.
Improv Cast, December 2010
LC & Me, May 2011
Basically: Just put your mind to it. It's not enough to be Good. You have GOT to refine and shine.
"I got to thinking a lot about my future. Promises about post-graduation to myself:
1. Continue education
2. Continue art
3. Make new local friends
4. Self-evaluate
5. Do things before responsibilities kick in"
Today is my first official day of unemployment. My contracts just ended Friday, and the summer will be a whirlwind of travel, planning, projects, and rebooting before I start graduate school. Overall, I am very pleased with how I handled my first year out of school. I have made lists (in my diary) of all the ways I grew, lessons I learned, opportunities I had because of what I chose to do with myself since I got my diploma.
When Facebook added that little empty box ("Write something about yourself.") my sister wrote "Write something about myself?! This whole dang page is about myself!" I thought that was very funny. Anyway, I realize this whole blog is about me, but for a moment I am going to celebrate my accomplishments. Without intention, I did a darn good job staying in line with the goals I set myself as a junior in college.
1. I audited two college classes, read three books on comedy and acting, and got on track for graduate school.
2. One musical, one big improv show, and a lot of little improv jams all year. Creative writing club, the St. Louis One-Act Festival, and ACTF with Huntie.
3. Being an improv teacher and getting involved with that community led to a bunch of new friendships--way deeper than I would have guessed when I started up with these comedy shenanigans. I am also sure if I were staying in the area I'd be keeping up with many more people I've met in the past few months. Interesting folk are everywhere.
4. My bosses didn't offer me a ton of feedback about my work, and I not only learned to self-evaluate, but enjoyed doing so.
5. Although I was highly-motivated and busy all year, I still acted like a 22-year old. I stayed up all night watching movies sometimes. I went on a Spring Break trip to the beach. I ate lots of cookies. I was poor and dressed like a hobo usually, but I occasionally splurged on stuff I didn't need (froyo, theatre, random Groupons). I spent a lot of time training for a marathon--no idea how working stiffs handle that schedule. I had house guests every other week.
Plus, lots of amazing things happened this year totally unrelated to my goals. Muff's marriage, getting to be with my sister, some enjoyable Chicago trips, learning so much about teaching, making an unexpected close friend (LC)...I guess what I mean to say is there's nothing inherently scary about leaving school.
Improv Cast, December 2010
LC & Me, May 2011
Basically: Just put your mind to it. It's not enough to be Good. You have GOT to refine and shine.
Sunday, June 5, 2011
Alice in Chains
Yesterday at about 2 PM where was I? Oh, just chained to a bed in in a basement of a house I had never been to before alone with a middle-aged man I had never met before filming me.
Somewhere in Wisconsin, my aunt just got nervous reading that.
Here's what happened:
On Friday night I got a call from my improv producer asking if I would be able to help with a project he was working on for the 48-Hour Film Festival. I said, yes, I was free for a few hours yesterday afternoon, and I could help. He told me the premise of the dark comedy: a lonely girl keeps a broom as a friend. Okay, I thought.
So, then, an hour later (they're still writing the script) he explains I'm being held captive--hence the loneliness. Hmm. Okay.
So, then I show up to the location on Sunday. My producer isn't there--just a fellow actor I know and the director (who I don't know). I read the final script and am like, "Oh. Oh I see. So there's a scene where the guy who has kidnapped me backhands me. Hmm." Ad then we go down to the basement to see the set--a really really creepy room with a chain.
Oh. So, I'm also going to be chained up. Hm.
And we shoot a little, and then the other actor announces he will be doing a lunch run while I shoot solo scenes. And I'm like, "Cool. Naw I don't want any Subway." And then he leaves...and I realize what is happening in my life. Which brings me back to the beginning of this blog post.
Of course, everything was fine. The director was very nice, and we shot everything in a timely manner, and I left. But if anything HAD happened...man, would I have looked like an idiot.
Officer: So how did this guy kidnap you into this basement?
Me: Oh, no, I drove myself.
Officer: But how did he get you in chains?
Me: I put them on?
Officer: ...But at what point did you get worried when he brought out a video camera?
Me: I...didn't?
(Officer smacks his forehead.)
Now, to quell anyone else's fears, as soon as I realized that I was in a sketchy situation, I did make a plan of escape mentally, and I knew where the handcuff key was. But, yeah, life is weird. In other news, go see the film I was in at the Tivoli in the Loop this Tuesday night!
Somewhere in Wisconsin, my aunt just got nervous reading that.
Here's what happened:
On Friday night I got a call from my improv producer asking if I would be able to help with a project he was working on for the 48-Hour Film Festival. I said, yes, I was free for a few hours yesterday afternoon, and I could help. He told me the premise of the dark comedy: a lonely girl keeps a broom as a friend. Okay, I thought.
So, then, an hour later (they're still writing the script) he explains I'm being held captive--hence the loneliness. Hmm. Okay.
So, then I show up to the location on Sunday. My producer isn't there--just a fellow actor I know and the director (who I don't know). I read the final script and am like, "Oh. Oh I see. So there's a scene where the guy who has kidnapped me backhands me. Hmm." Ad then we go down to the basement to see the set--a really really creepy room with a chain.
Oh. So, I'm also going to be chained up. Hm.
And we shoot a little, and then the other actor announces he will be doing a lunch run while I shoot solo scenes. And I'm like, "Cool. Naw I don't want any Subway." And then he leaves...and I realize what is happening in my life. Which brings me back to the beginning of this blog post.
Of course, everything was fine. The director was very nice, and we shot everything in a timely manner, and I left. But if anything HAD happened...man, would I have looked like an idiot.
Officer: So how did this guy kidnap you into this basement?
Me: Oh, no, I drove myself.
Officer: But how did he get you in chains?
Me: I put them on?
Officer: ...But at what point did you get worried when he brought out a video camera?
Me: I...didn't?
(Officer smacks his forehead.)
Now, to quell anyone else's fears, as soon as I realized that I was in a sketchy situation, I did make a plan of escape mentally, and I knew where the handcuff key was. But, yeah, life is weird. In other news, go see the film I was in at the Tivoli in the Loop this Tuesday night!
Friday, June 3, 2011
Push Back
On Tuesday, Pookie and I went to a Cards game. I was excited to see The Giants because I have fond memories of many of them winning the World Series last fall. One of Pookie's friends was with us--a longtime Cards fan. I said, "Oh, yeah, well we're Giants fans."
I don't know why I felt like I needed to do that.
For some reason, we sometimes believe that pushing back harder than we need to is cool? Is helpful? Gets the ball rolling? Not like when we do it we MEAN to be accomplishing some side goal. It's just this mistake we make, and I'm not sure why we make it.
Like, I'm not even that big of a Giants fan anyway! Let's be real--it took Pookie and I a few minutes to make sure we were even reading the scoreboard correctly.
The baseball princess.
I know it's not the end of the world that we get defensive about random stuff that doesn't matter. (For some reason I am imagining the boy who lived across the street from me in middle school always arguing with me that cheesecake was GROSS and HOW could I LIKE it. I mean, he wasn't going to change my mind.) But, maybe it does matter. Because maybe if we stop pushing back in those little inane ways some good stuff will start to happen:
1. We'll talk about something more important.
2. We will exercise our ability to have a positive and educational mindset instead of an arbitrarily abrasive one. Even if we're joking.
3. The things we really do push back about will be accentuated. It's kind of screwed up that I can argue about how horrible pantyhose is with the same conviction I debate gay rights.
But, then again, I really do hate pantyhose.
I don't know why I felt like I needed to do that.
For some reason, we sometimes believe that pushing back harder than we need to is cool? Is helpful? Gets the ball rolling? Not like when we do it we MEAN to be accomplishing some side goal. It's just this mistake we make, and I'm not sure why we make it.
Like, I'm not even that big of a Giants fan anyway! Let's be real--it took Pookie and I a few minutes to make sure we were even reading the scoreboard correctly.
The baseball princess.
I know it's not the end of the world that we get defensive about random stuff that doesn't matter. (For some reason I am imagining the boy who lived across the street from me in middle school always arguing with me that cheesecake was GROSS and HOW could I LIKE it. I mean, he wasn't going to change my mind.) But, maybe it does matter. Because maybe if we stop pushing back in those little inane ways some good stuff will start to happen:
1. We'll talk about something more important.
2. We will exercise our ability to have a positive and educational mindset instead of an arbitrarily abrasive one. Even if we're joking.
3. The things we really do push back about will be accentuated. It's kind of screwed up that I can argue about how horrible pantyhose is with the same conviction I debate gay rights.
But, then again, I really do hate pantyhose.
Thursday, June 2, 2011
To You and You and You, You, and You--To People Living With, Living With, Living With...Not Dying From Disease!
1. I ate 24 cookies tonight.
2. Night walks are underrated. Everything is beautiful.
3. You are beautiful.
4. You are the most beautiful thing in the world!
5. I mean it.
6. I really do.
7. Believe me. I love you.
8. I really do!
9. I miss you and I haven't even left.
10. You are the proof.
11. You are gold.
When I feel blue in the night
And I need you to hold me tight
Whenever I want you, all I have to do is
Drea-ea-ea-ea-eam
2. Night walks are underrated. Everything is beautiful.
3. You are beautiful.
4. You are the most beautiful thing in the world!
5. I mean it.
6. I really do.
7. Believe me. I love you.
8. I really do!
9. I miss you and I haven't even left.
10. You are the proof.
11. You are gold.
When I feel blue in the night
And I need you to hold me tight
Whenever I want you, all I have to do is
Drea-ea-ea-ea-eam
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
Weird Compliments
Everyone has gotten his or her fair share of weird compliments, I'm sure. But I, like, ONLY get weird compliments. Like when my sister once said, "I like your style--your trashball look." I can't even be offended because if I had to describe my style in one word it probably would be trashball.
My first high school boyfriend told me, "Your eyes are so beautiful. It's like...like looking into two tree trunks."
Kay once told me he liked my "cross-eyed look." Oh, yes, of course. My cross-eyed look! How attractive!
But, Dunt just sent me some pictures she took of me last summer, and darned if I don't have a cross-eyed look!
It occurs to me it only happens when I am focusing on something super up close. Like the camera or a boy I am kissing. So, now I get why it would be attractive to see my crossed-eyes--a smooch is in the future! It all goes to show you beauty really is in the eye of the beholder.* Crossed-eyes can be nice. Thick thighs can be graceful. Who knows. Who knows.
*UGH a cliche AND a pun in one fowl** swoop.
**Is it "fell swoop"? I've never known. Either way, it's FOUL this time.
All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put baby together again.
My first high school boyfriend told me, "Your eyes are so beautiful. It's like...like looking into two tree trunks."
Kay once told me he liked my "cross-eyed look." Oh, yes, of course. My cross-eyed look! How attractive!
But, Dunt just sent me some pictures she took of me last summer, and darned if I don't have a cross-eyed look!
It occurs to me it only happens when I am focusing on something super up close. Like the camera or a boy I am kissing. So, now I get why it would be attractive to see my crossed-eyes--a smooch is in the future! It all goes to show you beauty really is in the eye of the beholder.* Crossed-eyes can be nice. Thick thighs can be graceful. Who knows. Who knows.
*UGH a cliche AND a pun in one fowl** swoop.
**Is it "fell swoop"? I've never known. Either way, it's FOUL this time.
All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put baby together again.
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