Office Hours

Playwright professor today: "Well, you're a bubbling young optimist."
After I said, "Well, obviously there are multiple sides to every issue. If there were one clear right side, we would all just do it."
And he laughed, but not sincerely.
And he shook his head.
And I felt huge in his office chair, in his office. Not like my BUTT was too big, not like that. Like, "Oh. All my pieces are chipping off of me at a rate of a million chips per second? And this tiny angular boxy space is going to be, like, wrecked with chips? Like, soon? Like, I need to get out?"

I filled up my water bottle in the hallway. A long highway with all white doors. All closed. All belonging to professers. Not really. Belonging to a university. The one behind me had flyers for theatre business workshops, and there was this picture. A little drawing of a glass of water. It was labeled "water" and "air" and the text said, "It's technically always half full."

My Dissertation on Batman Begins

Peeps be tryna accomplish the same thing: justice. But they all be goin' 'bout it differnt ways, and that's when ish gets real and Scarecrow gases er'rybody.

Soz basically, we finna wreck some trains 'n' stuff if we don' jus' sit down. Breathe. Talk it out. Maybs hug it out? And finna form a plan against fear and inequality. UH DOY. It ain't gon' work if you think er'ryone else a jerk. Er'ryone else be jus' tryna do dere tha-ang, ya hear? An' you don't gotta agree wit that, you just gotta agree with where dey comin' from--'cos you most likely already do. Like, Batman wants peace, so he fly 'round bein' all "Stop, criminals!" And ninja dude wants peace, so he wants er'ryone to hallucinate larva 'n' go on killing sprees. AND, Valcone wants peace, so he just wants er'ryone to do what he say aight! Their motives are the same! Ya dig?

Now apply the Gotham metaphor to all social issues today. ALSTAN OUT.

Just Having Fun

Right after a scene in which I played a French twin courting my sister's lover, in which I "broke"--AKA cracked a couple smiles despite my best efforts to keep it real--my teacher said, "Okay, Giggles McGee over there..."

And I could not even pretend to be offended because it's true. I've had a really hard time not laughing in class this week. I've just been having so much fun. This whole day has been fun. I woke up in Hunny's apartment and putzed around her book shelves before a nice long walk to class. I am genuinely enjoying this improvatunity. On my way to the el, I made eye contact with one of those street-corner-standers who want you to sponsor starving children. "Oh no!" I cried out among the flocks of Cubs fans. "Oh no! Now I've done it!"The guy handed me a photo of a hungry child. "I was having a guilt-free day!" I mock-shouted. He told me to take a couple deep breaths. Ugh. People not gettng melo-drama.

Long story short--I am now sponsoring a little girl in India.

I mean. It was really only a matter of time.

So then I showed up at Fran's apartment and we walked to the Taco Shop down the block! I got a veggie burrito and she got an octopus tostada! I mean what is up with that! But she enjoyed, and then we had a marshmallow sundae! I mean! Really! How often do you split a sundae with your best friend from elementary school!? NOT OFTEN!

Fran & da ice cream.

Giggles McGee over here. Over and out for now.

Minor Morality

Wanted to watch last night's Mad Men today.
Scoured several "FREE TV ONLINE BUT A MILLION POPUPS" sites.
Dad's internet/sketchy websites allow me to watch two minutes of the episode at a time.
And it was such a good episode.
Peep iTunes.
Mad Men episodes--three bucks.
Sigh.
But I could get it for free!
But what I save in money I lose in time with every dang attempt to see what Joan is up to!
Also...I watched the past three seasons on pirated DVDs.
So, maybe I owe some money to Matthew Weiner?
I buy the episode.
It was really satisfying.

You got me so I can't sleep at night.

Whenever, Wherever

CAKE. December 2011.

My friend Sid became a vegetarian a couple months ago. He was inspired by a pro-veggie sketch I wrote (best possible response to a sketch--not laughter or applause, no, converting someone into a veggie). Then, after thinking about the moral implications of the factory farm industry, he became a vegan. I really don't think this is a flash in the pan thing. He's pretty dang serious.

We were out at lunch with friends and said if I appreciate people ordering veggie in my presence, I should order vegan in his. I agreed and did. I've explained I am straddling the vegan fence. Over the past two years I have inched closer and closer, but I fear I'll never take the full plunge. Still, right now I'm doing pretty well. It's pretty rare I eat any straight up egg/dairy products. I even avoid garnishes of cheese when I can, but here's where I get stopped:

Dressing (containing eggs)
Baked goods (containing little eggs and milk)
Ice cream (this is, clearly, an obvious breech of veganism)

Anyway, I'm proud of my efforts, but I am grateful to Sid who pushes me further. He sends me vegan lectures, and I remember what I learn when I am tempted to get the yogurt Jamba Juice.

It occurs to me I could be annoyed. I could say, "Look. I've been doing this a lot longer than you. Three months ago you were eating beef in front of me and making fun of my diet. You don't have a right." But, when you're right, you're right. I don't care if you found the Truth fifty years ago or five seconds ago, you have the right to share the Good, the Truth to others.

Ideas on Good Deeding

One year ago.

There's this FRIENDS episode about Phoebe trying to prove that you can help others for the sake of helping others--not just because you want to feel good about yourself. This is a pretty interesting debate: Can you actually help others and reap no benefits? If not, then are you ever truly being "a good person"? Is everyone just trying to feel like good people?

Today I had quite a revelation about this. Being a good person, helping others, doing your best, makes you feel good because it IS good for you. Like natural exercise, like eating vegetables. It all works in a cycle. You might initially do something because you are supposed to or you're trying to feel good, but it very naturally feels good once you're doing it (running despite the heat, eating the spinach, writing the new short story).

So, no, there is no "true" good deed in the sense that you do it and get nothing in return--but who says that's a sensical definition? That's not how Life rewards you for living in harmony with Goodness. You don't have to feel like a jerk for trying to be good, for doing good even though your first instinct might not be to do it. That's not insincere. Why would you feel like a jerk for feeling healthy after eating some broccoli?

When you give to a worthy cause,
you'll feel as jolly as Santa Claus!