Freal Happy Post! (No Vegetarian Rants)

Chances are, if you saw me any time between December 20th and 31st I was dropping some kind of candy or baked good into my mouth and announcing, "YOLO DIET STARTS IN 2014."

And then for dinner on New Year's Day I had Portillos. #KM

Chocolate cake shake & french fries. Emoji heart eyes.

But, guess what, you guys? It's been a week. And I have eaten no desserts. This is probably normal for most humans, but for me it's like...the equivalent of the 1969 moon landing for my fitness. Cookies is a food group to me? Let's...also be clear when I say "diet" I mean "eat whatever I want except donuts." I'm currently in marathon training, so, like, I shouldn't have popcorn for lunch anymore?

It's so funny when you start to eat sincerely healthy again. You're like, "This tastes so good and I feel so good. Why don't I always do this?" And I think that's true of all things we know are good for us. So,  let's just do the things we know to be good! And stop doing the things we know to be bad! Come on, guys. We've been doing this for years.

Crunch

Not sure how many times I've eaten

at the student union Taco Bell.

A lot

I guess. But I hadn't been since

last January.

Not because I'm being healthier

or something. Just because I got tired of it.

"I'm eating healthy all week," I had announced

because I had a monster of a diet

this weekend thanks

to speech tournament judging, a Friendsgiving,

general Sunday ice cream couchtime.

And I didn't feel good.

Then yesterday as my shift at work ended

I was just

ravenous

for

only

Taco Bell.

So I made my way over and realized

I never see this side of campus anymore.

I saw a student from work in the distance.

When I run into them not in the context of their disability I think

some stuff

about people.

I sat outside at a two-person metal table

in the shade.

A girl came out right after me,

had to sit at the next table back.

I opened the crunchwrap. A bird

pooped on my arm.

If I hadn't been there,

it would have been the gal behind me

wearing a long-sleeve blouse.

Ran into Hill by the theatre office.

Pop cup in hand, I explained, "I was going to eat healthy all week."

Haha, taco cravings! I gestured to the Coke.

She texted me last night:

"I may have Taco Bell today for the first time in forever.

You have shaped the future."

Down the Line

Sunset last night. Lake Michigan.

I. We should be healthy not just to be healthy but because our health affects our feelings and our feelings empower or disable our actions. Our actions are our relationships with others, our world.

II. A camper shared this with me: Think beautiful thoughts and you will choose beautiful actions. Beautiful actions make a beautiful life.

Spring Awakening

Saw Spring Awakening Friday night. I've had the soundtrack for years, but had never seen it staged. While I love much of it: the concept, the rockin' 90s jamz (Duncan Shiek what UP), there are some things I knew I wouldn't love about it. Mainly, MAINLY have been trying to avoid the line, "Oh, I'm gonna bruise you/Oh, I'm gonna be your bruise" since I first heard it in my earbuds on a Christmas road trip 2008. Woof. But, Ru was in a local production, so I went. Extremely satisfying. (And he was phenomenal. It's very exciting to see one of my artistic friends really making it.)

Thoughts Inspired By the Production:

-In modern times, people must understand their bodies, their urges--sometimes the two in conjunction, sometimes not. Either way, understanding leads to health. Physical and communal.
-Dancing is underrated. I am someone who does not think watching dancing is interesting. But, every time I see great choreography, I am quite pleased. If I as a "theatre person" attach this stigma to dance, consider the layman.
-I applaud Sater and Shiek for exploding out things that we all want to see. Things that are so obvious we didn't even know we all wanted to see! A poppy bunch of adolescents throwing up middle fingers to teachers? Yup. We all want to see that on such a base level no one knew to ask for it.
-I raise my eyebrows at Sater and Shiek for ultra-simplifying the relationship between children and adults in this show. If the point is that we must listen to one another, presenting a completely one-sided argument that adults are unfair and kids are the wise torch-carrier of the future is counter-productive. That's how generations end up feeling superior to the next in the first place.
-No one should want to be seen as unhealthy. And yet, some people do.
-If you play a snappy curtain call song, even if the audience was just subjected to an abortion-caused death, they leave bobbing their heads and smiling. Humans are horrifyingly simple to control.
-I don't care how much game gets talked about the non-linear narrative. Not having an ending to subplots is unacceptable.
-Overall, I've always been a huge fan of this model of theatre. Taking lasting source material and adapting it to current times in a unique and fresh way while maintaining some of the original oak. It's the perfect balance between respecting what has come before and respecting the need for progress in culture.
-We must go on to create a better world.

We walked into the night. Breezy and warm. It's been spring for months in the desert. But, it's official now.

The stars too, they tell of spring returning.

Pauvre

Perhaps I should stop saying I'm poor. It feels like part of my definition, but I don't know where that comes from. I have known very very few truly poor people in my life, and I am not one of them. I am thrifty, aware, perhaps unable to afford a trip or to justify new shoes, but not poor. If I think I'm poor now, what if I really were? If I think I'm poor now, wouldn't I feel the same as a millionaire?

A boat in D.C. 2012.

Besides, poor in what?

You're impossible to resist,
but I wouldn't bet your heart on it.

Resolutions 2012

New Year's High School Reunion in Chicago: Vince & GF, Hunny & BF, Mia.

Be healthier. Vague, but true. This means

1. Arranging my life so that it is RARE that I don't get enough sleep.
2. EATING FRUITS AND VEGETABLES. Not every other day. Every day.
3. A pint of ice cream is not dinner.
4. Or breakfast.
5. Not feeling guilty about what I just can't do.
6. Not feeling stressed about what I know I can do.
7. Enjoying everything.
8. Taking time to consume good art every day.*
9. Respecting the place I live (this means making my bed as well as considering the landfill the coffee cup will go in once I'm finished with it)
10. Taking more momentary breaks to be peaceful throughout my days.


Hunny and her hunny.


Nac. 11:55 PM December 31st, 2011.

*Listening to Something Corporate while I bike does not count!

Oh, in five years time, I might not know you.
In five years time, we might not speak.
In five years time, we might not get along.
In five years time, you might just prove me wrong.

11.11.11

What a special day!

1. I am one of those losers who finds significance in the time being 11:11. Today? Boom. Bananas.*

2. It's my dad's birthday! Toot toot!

So, my dad is pretty great, you guys. He's really funny and loving. A couple things about this summer when I lived with him: I was always encouraging us to go on more walks together, I stole all his candy bars and replaced them with granola, we had a really really nice time.

My sister sent me these quotes from a conversation they just had recently:

"I walk a lot. Not as much as the little czarina of walking would
like, but enough."

"Do you know what she did with [my candy bars]? I thought maybe she
hid them and then on my birthday she would tell me where they were.
No. She gave them to the camp counselors! I tell you, she's just a
complete monster. She's out of control."


Us at Starved Rock on a hikelet.

*"Boom. Bananas." is something I shouted out in a scene during rehearsal this week. I was a corporate exec with a wonky catchphrase.

So...What Does Alice Eat?

FREE SANDWICHES! Yes, I started work today at the sandwich shop, and every shift I work comes with a free sub. What up to avocados and the pungent red onions that had me bawling over the cutting table for half an hour!

In seriousness, I bet some of you are thinking, "Alice, you are poor, you try to be healthy, and you always cook for one. What on earth do you eat!?" I will tell you!

Pretty much my entire diet for the past four weeks consists of:

-Target-brand oatmeal
-Honey
-Frozen broccoli and carrots
-Target-brand granola bars
-Kraft Toasted Sesame lite dressing
-Bananas, apples, and strawberries
-Mixed nuts
-Pretzels
-Arnold's Whole Wheat Sandwich Thins
-Whole wheat Target-brand rotini
-Veggie Ragu
-Pumpkin butter from Illinois
-Roasted red pepper hummus
-Cherry salsa from Prince Edward Island
-Yogurt
-Newton's Blueberry Fruit Thins

And, occasionally, I have gone out to eat with friends.


Me eating a fried cookie. November 2009.

Why am I telling you this?

1. To quell loved ones' nerves that I'm on in the desert surviving on a crash diet of Twix bars and orange juice. (Although I've considered it.)
2. To disprove the fact that healthy eating (VEGAN eating even--you'll notice just one non-vegan food on the list) is just too expensive for people. Um, no. Shopping at Whole Foods for organic cheddar cracker crisps and mango juice is too expensive for the average American...but in no way must we continue to accept the lie that poor families don't have a choice between the 20-piece McNuggets and a healthy dinner. A huge bag of frozen broccoli is less than $2. Ditto the sandwich thins. Ditto the hummus. Boom--a super healthy vegan dinner for at least 8 people for $6 preparable in literally five minutes.

Honey pie, you are making me crazy.
I'm in love, but I'm lazy.

Ideas on Good Deeding

One year ago.

There's this FRIENDS episode about Phoebe trying to prove that you can help others for the sake of helping others--not just because you want to feel good about yourself. This is a pretty interesting debate: Can you actually help others and reap no benefits? If not, then are you ever truly being "a good person"? Is everyone just trying to feel like good people?

Today I had quite a revelation about this. Being a good person, helping others, doing your best, makes you feel good because it IS good for you. Like natural exercise, like eating vegetables. It all works in a cycle. You might initially do something because you are supposed to or you're trying to feel good, but it very naturally feels good once you're doing it (running despite the heat, eating the spinach, writing the new short story).

So, no, there is no "true" good deed in the sense that you do it and get nothing in return--but who says that's a sensical definition? That's not how Life rewards you for living in harmony with Goodness. You don't have to feel like a jerk for trying to be good, for doing good even though your first instinct might not be to do it. That's not insincere. Why would you feel like a jerk for feeling healthy after eating some broccoli?

When you give to a worthy cause,
you'll feel as jolly as Santa Claus!