Nobody Loves You When You're 23

Here are the anthems of my 24th year (IE bein' 23)--in chronological order:

1. What's My Age Again--Blink-182
an anthem to the year itself
2. Going Away to College--Blink-182
an anthem to thinking about grad school
3. Dance Music--The Mountain Goats
my plane jam for Germany travels
4. Someone to Watch Over Me--Gershwinz
an anthem from the musical my fam saw in Germany
5. Here's Looking at You Kid--The Gaslight Anthem
an anthem I would wistfully listen to on runs in Chicago summer
6. Party in the USA--Miley Cyrus
an regressive and two years too late anthem for starting my life over in da desert
7. I Am the One--Next to Normal
my biking tune of choice, never left my iPod shuffle all year
8. Leaves in the River--Seawolf
an anthem for missing Midwestern fall
9. Strays--Tim Kasher
an anthem for late-night playwriting
10. HAM--Kanye & Jay-Z
an anthem for upping my running mileage all year
11. Blazin'--Nicki Minaj
to play while poolside/feel cool/love Ye a lot
12. Beautiful Mistake--The Ataris
so much GD Ataris this year...boop
13. Blow-Ke$ha
an anthem that played before EVERY SINGLE IMPROV SHOW ALL YEAR--forever and always hearing that trollop stutter her B's will remind me of Freeze Tag
14. Girl's Just Wanna Have Fun--Cindy Lauper
an anthem played during one of my favorite sketches I wrote in 2011
15. Someone Like You--Adele
(for some reason) my anthem for finals/winter in AZ/lots of belting in Chelle's car
16. The Scientist--Aimee Mann
an anthem for missing my family
17. Broken Bird--Jack's Mannequin
an anthem from Andy's new album, angstily sung by me frequently
18. Art Is Dead--Bo Burnam
an anthem that asked me what I asked myself (What is da point of art though...?)
19. Black Star--Radiohead
an anthem for seeing Radiohead live
20. Alone--Glee Version
the anthem in my head during my entire Virginia trip
21. My Heart Will Go On--Celine Dion
I don't wanna talk about it
22. 21 Guns--American Idiot Musical Recording
an anthem I spoofed for a sketch about gun legislation this spring
23. What Makes You Beautiful--One Direction
an anthem I somehow got everyone to listen to like twelve times en route to LA for Fracas

Bug, Kale, moi Girl's Night. February 2012. Photo by Chelle/Shell.

Some boys take a beautiful girl and hide her away from the rest of the world.

I wanna be the one to walk in the sun, and girl's just wanna have fun.

Last Year's List:

http://aliceoutofcontext.blogspot.com/2011/05/wise-men-say.html

Mad Men Premiere, Age 23

A la 1960s. Smirn smoking.

I am an adult. I come to this realization with equal satisfaction and terror: satisfaction because I always thought growing up would be miserable, and it's not, but terror because it could just be a matter of time. As I get older though, it seems unlikely.

I am an adult. Yesterday night I invited friends over to watch the season premiere of a historical drama about the 1960s on AMC. That's very adult! This surprises me! My age is legal adult! It has been for years, but, still, I go, "What? Me?"

I am an adult. I invite people into the condo I pay rent for by tending my own schedule of work. I buy my own tomato sauce and make my own pizza rolls. I find recipes for chocolate vegan cake puffs, and I make a double batch.

I watch adults on TV--adults who, if they were real people--would now be in their 80s. But they are childlike. Moreso than me even--because, I am an adult...maybe not all the time, but, actually most of the time now.

I am an adult and I know when to turn down a trip out for milkshakes because I have grading to do before school starts again. Farewell, Spring Break. I'm an adult who knows not to try to clean the hot cooking pan right away, but also how to scrape away the burnt chocolate under the faucet.


We dressed up.

Sophomore at Life (Warning: Reflective Navel-Gazing Ahead)

On Friday May 15, 2009, I had a little pub date with a college friend just finishing his first year out of school. I wrote about it on my old blog:

"I got to thinking a lot about my future. Promises about post-graduation to myself:
1. Continue education
2. Continue art
3. Make new local friends
4. Self-evaluate
5. Do things before responsibilities kick in"

Today is my first official day of unemployment. My contracts just ended Friday, and the summer will be a whirlwind of travel, planning, projects, and rebooting before I start graduate school. Overall, I am very pleased with how I handled my first year out of school. I have made lists (in my diary) of all the ways I grew, lessons I learned, opportunities I had because of what I chose to do with myself since I got my diploma.

When Facebook added that little empty box ("Write something about yourself.") my sister wrote "Write something about myself?! This whole dang page is about myself!" I thought that was very funny. Anyway, I realize this whole blog is about me, but for a moment I am going to celebrate my accomplishments. Without intention, I did a darn good job staying in line with the goals I set myself as a junior in college.

1. I audited two college classes, read three books on comedy and acting, and got on track for graduate school.
2. One musical, one big improv show, and a lot of little improv jams all year. Creative writing club, the St. Louis One-Act Festival, and ACTF with Huntie.
3. Being an improv teacher and getting involved with that community led to a bunch of new friendships--way deeper than I would have guessed when I started up with these comedy shenanigans. I am also sure if I were staying in the area I'd be keeping up with many more people I've met in the past few months. Interesting folk are everywhere.
4. My bosses didn't offer me a ton of feedback about my work, and I not only learned to self-evaluate, but enjoyed doing so.
5. Although I was highly-motivated and busy all year, I still acted like a 22-year old. I stayed up all night watching movies sometimes. I went on a Spring Break trip to the beach. I ate lots of cookies. I was poor and dressed like a hobo usually, but I occasionally splurged on stuff I didn't need (froyo, theatre, random Groupons). I spent a lot of time training for a marathon--no idea how working stiffs handle that schedule. I had house guests every other week.

Plus, lots of amazing things happened this year totally unrelated to my goals. Muff's marriage, getting to be with my sister, some enjoyable Chicago trips, learning so much about teaching, making an unexpected close friend (LC)...I guess what I mean to say is there's nothing inherently scary about leaving school.


Improv Cast, December 2010


LC & Me, May 2011

Basically: Just put your mind to it. It's not enough to be Good. You have GOT to refine and shine.

Wise Men Say

These were, for better or for worse, THE songs of my 22nd year. Woof. In chronological importance because in order of importance was too dang difficult.

1. Ready to Run--The Dixie Chicks
an anthem to a year of running and loving it
2. Like a Prayer--Glee Cast
an anthem for running at camp early early AM with memories of counselors past dancing in my head
3. Baby--Justin Beiber
an anthem dedicated to all the munchkins I spent June-August trying to entertain
4. Telephone--Lady Gaga
an anthem for dancing/personal fashion shows/hair doodling all year
5. You Can't Hurry Love--The Concretes
an anthem that played at the end of my capstone reading
6. Airplanes--B.O.B
an anthem to self-aware wistful summer nights as the college cleared out
7. Dynamite--Tao Cruiz
an anthem to self-loathing and bad habits
8. High and Lonesome--The Gaslight Anthem
an anthem by an anthem for feeling lazy and unproductive in my new skin
9. Head Full of Doubt--The Avett Brothers
an anthem for finding hope at the beginning of new jobs, for fall in the Midwest
10. Blood Bank--Bon Iver
an anthem for the last winter I could handle and love's bones breaking
11. Breakeven--The Backbeats
an anthem for lifting weights in my sister's cold apartment during over Christmas vacation
12. Firework--Katy Perry
an anthem for new beginnings--specifically 12 AM January 1st
13. Fire Burning--Sean Kingston
an anthem for being happy all the time
14. Reflections--The Supremes
an anthem to belt in the car on the way to speech tournaments
15. All for the Best--Godspell
an anthem for a rejuvenation in my heart about theatre/finishing my grad school apps during ACTF
16. What the Hell--Avril Lavigne
an anthem for feeling free, happy, as young as I am
17. Cherry Lane--Ryan Adams
an anthem dedicated to interest in others blooming
18. Champagne--In the Heights
an anthem for new friends with expiration dates
19. Invisible Ink--Aimee Mann
an anthem for discovering true, natural, organic beauty everywhere
20. Moment 4 Life--Nicki Menaj & Drake
an anthem that blared in Nac's car in N.C. on one of the best vacays of all time
21. I Speak Six Languages--25th Annual
an anthem I perform
22. Can't Help Falling in Love--Elvis
an anthem for getting a lot of things done and being very proud and very unemotional

What were last year's? Here you go:
http://aliceoutofcontext.blogspot.com/2010/04/i-guess-todays-gunna-blow-us-away.html

Also-rans were "Globes and Maps" because I cried as it was performed during the SoCo reunion concert and "Prepare Ye" because I was very spiritual this year.