#Privilege

This morning I had blueberry sourdough pancakes while looking out the window at the tallest mountain in the country.

Yesterday the summer opened up, and although there are mounds of snow on the ground, the sun was bright enough to bake in (which I did on a deck chair on a bridge over a creek).

I needed that. I truly did. Valdez was breath-taking, but it was not home. Everything was grey and chilled. The Midwest was fine, but the moment I stepped out of the Tucson airport in 2005 I knew I was meant to be a desert rat. It felt right.

If I had never been to Arizona, I probably would have gotten along in Chicago. Heck, I might go back. But now it will be harder. I know it's not my fit. And Alaska! Alaska! What if I had been born in Alaska and never left? I would have thought life was about being uncomfortable? I mean, perhaps I would have mended my ways, but sometimes I think we are who we are and that can't be sewn differently.

So, I guess what's weird, is that traveling to Alaska has made me feel a lot of compassion for transgendered peoples.

"We are who we are."--the immortal Ke$ha

Nobody Loves You When You're 23

Here are the anthems of my 24th year (IE bein' 23)--in chronological order:

1. What's My Age Again--Blink-182
an anthem to the year itself
2. Going Away to College--Blink-182
an anthem to thinking about grad school
3. Dance Music--The Mountain Goats
my plane jam for Germany travels
4. Someone to Watch Over Me--Gershwinz
an anthem from the musical my fam saw in Germany
5. Here's Looking at You Kid--The Gaslight Anthem
an anthem I would wistfully listen to on runs in Chicago summer
6. Party in the USA--Miley Cyrus
an regressive and two years too late anthem for starting my life over in da desert
7. I Am the One--Next to Normal
my biking tune of choice, never left my iPod shuffle all year
8. Leaves in the River--Seawolf
an anthem for missing Midwestern fall
9. Strays--Tim Kasher
an anthem for late-night playwriting
10. HAM--Kanye & Jay-Z
an anthem for upping my running mileage all year
11. Blazin'--Nicki Minaj
to play while poolside/feel cool/love Ye a lot
12. Beautiful Mistake--The Ataris
so much GD Ataris this year...boop
13. Blow-Ke$ha
an anthem that played before EVERY SINGLE IMPROV SHOW ALL YEAR--forever and always hearing that trollop stutter her B's will remind me of Freeze Tag
14. Girl's Just Wanna Have Fun--Cindy Lauper
an anthem played during one of my favorite sketches I wrote in 2011
15. Someone Like You--Adele
(for some reason) my anthem for finals/winter in AZ/lots of belting in Chelle's car
16. The Scientist--Aimee Mann
an anthem for missing my family
17. Broken Bird--Jack's Mannequin
an anthem from Andy's new album, angstily sung by me frequently
18. Art Is Dead--Bo Burnam
an anthem that asked me what I asked myself (What is da point of art though...?)
19. Black Star--Radiohead
an anthem for seeing Radiohead live
20. Alone--Glee Version
the anthem in my head during my entire Virginia trip
21. My Heart Will Go On--Celine Dion
I don't wanna talk about it
22. 21 Guns--American Idiot Musical Recording
an anthem I spoofed for a sketch about gun legislation this spring
23. What Makes You Beautiful--One Direction
an anthem I somehow got everyone to listen to like twelve times en route to LA for Fracas

Bug, Kale, moi Girl's Night. February 2012. Photo by Chelle/Shell.

Some boys take a beautiful girl and hide her away from the rest of the world.

I wanna be the one to walk in the sun, and girl's just wanna have fun.

Last Year's List:

http://aliceoutofcontext.blogspot.com/2011/05/wise-men-say.html