Big Girls Don't Cry

When I felt the tears welling up, I was surprised and then really proud of myself because it dawned on me that I haven't cried since moving here. I have never shed a tear in Arizona. I mean, that's pretty cool, right? Like, I left everything, have been alone, have had bad days, have had mondo amounts of work, have gotten sick...and, yet, I've still never cried.

Previous things that have made me cry:

-Not being able to find the pizza restaurant I wanted to eat at (2009).
-The movie Harriet the Spy (2005).
-Koon calling the Spiderman movies "gay" while we were in Tokyo (2008).

So...my non-tears are actually pretty remarkable.

But, yesterday, I was right on the edge. As I was beelining to my improv show, I was halted by HUGE twenty-foot posters of bloody fetuses with captions like, "Real feminists don't support abortion." I was disgusted and immediately so so angry. I marched right up to one of the men handing out flyers and said, "Excuse me. I find this extremely offensive." He assured me it was necessary, and we argued, my temperature boiling, before it came to this--

Me: The world is over-populated.
Him: You need to check your facts.

Then, another student came up to us and interjected, "Excuse me. Are you a vegetarian?" The man paused. "No," he said. And that's when I felt* my throat begin to close, my eyes begin to redden, and I looked down at my watch and realized showtime was in ten minutes, and I really didn't have time to fall apart in the middle of the student union commons. So, I left. And fifteen minutes later I was playing "Say What." And twelve hours later I was eating ice cream out of the carton during Girl's Night with Bug and Kale. And 24 hours later I'm writing this to you after a morning of running and writing and writing in my gratitude journal.

75 days in Arizona and still dry.

*I can't quite tell you what moved me to near-tears. Ignorance? Death and people's concepts of it? The meat industry--still plugging away under everyone's moral radar? Or, I could be starting my period soon. Dunno!