Not Lost!

Wiped! The writing conference was inspiring, education, enjoyable, but oh-so-tiring. So many ideas, but just a quick thought for now.

As I was waiting at the terminal in Portland at the end of Spring Break, one of those "we've oversold, whoopsies" announcements came on the loudspeaker. No one wanted to budge. There was a free ticket at stake for bumping to a late flight--one that would leave the next day.

I was seriously considering it, but then I would have to call Yatchface, get her to pick me up, stay with her boyfriends family, go through the whole idea, have less time with my dad etc. etc. etc. So...I opted to stick on the original flight. For a moment I checked myself. Was I going to regret losing an opportunity to my laziness? Well, no! Because the opportunity was not lost. The opportunity was gained for another person, and that can't be bad.

It's spring. The lilacs have arrived. I've been back in my room for a few minutes. It's time for a run.

I don't do sadness--not even a little bit. I just don't need it in my life. Don't want any part of it.

Ghosts of a Good Thing

waiting for the bus last week

Now, Spring Break is a ghost. In ten weeks college will be over. In eleven I will be in Michigan working at camp for the last time. In twenty I will be the ghost--floating through existence with nothing but a few leads and crack-pot ideas.

Drop that phone. Sleep on the floor. Dream about me.

The Tooth. The Whole Tooth. (And Nothing But the Tooth.)

Yesterday, before we went to sleep.
Before I packed up all my things.
Before we ate pieces of cheese.
Before we stopped because Clara said she needed to fart. After which she walked a little further stating, "I should get out of the light. I'm going to fart in those shadows."
Before we embarked on the long walk home.
Before we ate at Le Happy which is a delightful creperie.
We went swimming at Clara's community center.

La la la it felt so good. I did a 500 after not being in water since probably November I think? Anyway, Clara bopped along beside the lanes kickboarding and smiling. We both felt cleansed, renewed, baptized, and exercised after a morning of gluttony. (We ate a large breakfast and then walked down the street to have milkshakes and a big brownie.) After my laps I played a bit in the shallower free end of the pool. I did a very long and relaxing handstand and popped up into the air. But, that's only want I thought would happen. I actually scraped my mouth on the side of the cement wall scccrapppppecrunnnnnchOUCH! I floated slowly up in a sea of red.

I gripped my hands over my mouth. Goodbye front teeth I knew. Goodbye. The blood kept coming as I felt for the chips. Maybe they could be glued back in. Clara saw me from a distance, red and scared. Her eyes got huge. "Can you see I'm bleeding?" I asked. A very clear yes it was smeared on my face.

I felt embarrassed and didn't want attention because I know blood in pools means all sorts of crazy precautions. I got out, went to the locker room, spit in the sink, and cringed to look:

I had cut my canine tooth against my lip. A little tiny hole was there. No teeth were chipped. I gurgled some water. The bleeding was over. We laughed and laughed. It didn't hurt! I sucked in my lip. We got into the hot tub. We sat alone, quiet, boiling. I prayed, "I am Good. I am Whole." I was.

This morning the tingling is gone. The wound has healed.


Hey! Hoboman. Hey! Daper Dan. You've both got your style, but brother you're never fully dressed without a smile."

Clog -> Burst

Irving Park

Writer's Block as a result of too many ideas and too much sugar to the brain. We have eaten so much and so well. Nom Nom 4 Lyfe. So, three pictures, a list of questions (from our endless, literally endless disscussion), a list of highlights.


enjoying my breakfast burrito in the middle of Farmer's Market

Some pressing questions our discussions have brought to the surface:
-Could it be morally troubling to adopt a child from another country on principle?
-Is it actually the antithesis of helpful for minority groups to band together?
-Should we stop approaching the world with a "everyone feels this way sometimes" ideology because sometimes people really don't feel that way?
-How do you convince someone with low self-esteem to have confidence?
-Can everyone learn anything or is there actually intellectual hierarchy?

Highlights:
-Karaoke "It's All Coming Back to Me" by Celine Dion with Clara
-Dancing at a bar that exclusively plays soul music
-Elephant ears, hand pies, and cookies at Farmer's Market
-watching the most inspiring documentary Stages at Portland Women's Film Festival


Pre-Celine but post-Diana Ross

Quote of the Day

Way too tired to talk about anything, but I have to write this down somewhere to remember how awesome it was.

"Last time {karaoke} we all got up and sang Bohemian Rhapsody and everyone was swaying and putting their heads on each other, and it was like Les Miserables." -Clara

Thursday in Portland

We started the day right with meatless sausage and avocado in our eggs and fresh jam on our toast. We ate outside in the sunshine and proceeded to hoof it all the way downtown to Powell's singing Everclear all the while.

I will buy you a garden where your flowers will bloom.
I will buy you a new car--perfect shiny and new.
I will buy you a new house way up in the west hills.


I got lost in the massive bookstore for hours. The best, of course, were the rows and rows of plays. So, so enthralled to be surrounded by great theatre. I made several important purchases the most exciting of which is The Pillowman because I could not wait until I even left the store to begin revisiting it after seeing it last October.

Before exiting downtown we got dinner and the rest of the night was mine while Clara studied for her final final.

Alice Vs. The Volcano

St. Patty's Adventures of Clara & Alice:

-exploring an old volcano called Mt. Tabor


One of the lovely and inspiring views.

-stumbling upon a bar that was celebrating $1 vegan corn dogs!

-world famous Voodoo Donuts

Enjoying her maple bacon treat. Not pictured: my apple fritter.

In the middle of the night I woke up and my throat was throbbing. Not even kidding, Clara and I talked so much all day long that my vocal chords were actually in pain.

Planes, Buses, Automobiles (Plus Feet)

Yesterday I arrived at Clara's beautiful little blue house in Portland feeling nasty x a milli. Flying does that to a person. Fitsy picked me up, I saw her new baby, I entered the empty home of five in the side door that had been left unlocked.

After running, locking my sweaty self out (in he rain), showering, napping, and reading Clara came home! What a joyous meeting it was! It has been over two years since we have seen each other in person. We chatted and hungrily hit the streets to eat some delicious grilled cheese served out of a bus. Mine was cheddar with avocado and a fried egg on sourdough. Clara's included grilled onion. We ate inside a huge school bus that blared happy-go-lucky music.



Pick-up friends are so nice! It's been however long but you just play pick-up, and that's all. You're walking out of a school bus and discussing people you know and things you do just like at the lunch table junior year.

Pages

Blanche and I enjoying short stories by Anton Chekhov on a Sunday morning last October.

In the lib with my sissy. Checkin' out books for break. Right now I have Cannery Row, Writing in Restaurants, Player Piano, The Bell Jar, and two monologue collections for capstone inspiration.

Already packed and ready are Jonathan Safron Foer's newest book, a book on playwrighting by Jeffrey Hatcher, and The Interpreter of Maladies.

I am ridiculously excited. So many books I have been dying to read. Not that I haven't enjoyed reading for school this quarter...it's just nice to pick sometimes. I finished the last required reading of the quarter and started reading Fun Home as a little treat to myself in between finals studying...I could not focus on my final papers until I had finished the book. That's the trouble with majoring in English--always reading, never picking. Hopefully, I will not read everything I bring because I hope to be too busy prancing about with Clara. But, one can never be too prepared with her books.

Portland, here I come!