Is Special

What is the hole in the heart where you need to feel special do we all need to feel special or just some of us do I believe I am special and get mad for people not treating me like I am or do I fear I am not and get mad when that is confirmed with actions? When someone is shouting at a waiter or a ticket-taker or a valet for special treatment is it because they think they have earned it or just because they wish for it so badly they think they can muscle it to be so? Is the cloud of special or unspecial like the ghosts in The Conjuring II who are attached to the girls making it moot to move because the spirits will simply tag along? There are some people who just get the special treatment (from home goods department store clerks and teachers and fancy restaurant hosts). Are they truly special? Or do they believe they are in such a golden way it becomes true? A lot of it is looks, a thing I used to wonder and now have simply seen too many times not to be true. Even the children I counseled at summer camp all held doors for the prettiest girl in the room. Or do we all take turns being special? Even for social royalty, they can't always be on a cloud. I read an anonymous post last year from a 40something man who has a table at a farmers' market, says he is mean and short changes the attractive young women out of spite because he's single and they'd never date him. Is it actually all about cynicism of others versus fantasy of others? My therapist says nothing is personal, but it seems that way, doesn't it?