Declaring Murder: Part I

"Alice, this is George. I'm calling you for three reasons. The first reason is to ask if you're gonna be around later today because I wanna talk to you. Um. Just to talk, not for any, like, direct reason. I just wanna talk, um, but I can't really ask that since this is an answering machine and not you, but that was the intention. Um. The second reason was that I need to know who Yatchface is on your blog, because I was reading it, and I was just curious (laughing) about whose nickname that is, and then the third reason is that I'm going to declare my intention to murder you before you murder me*. (Big sigh) That's all. Uh, okay, I hope you're doing well, and I miss you, and I hope that we can talk soon. Bye."


George & Me (looking like previously posted Yatchface photo). Chicago. December 2009.

Then, I called George back and we were able to talk for like two seconds before I ran into class. She asked for a phone date later. Henne had asked for the same earlier. No time, no time. Improv and dinner with my mama and HOMEWORK AND GRADING EATING MY SOUL.

"Sorry," I said to George, "I've already turned down two phone dates for tonight. Now if only I could get a real date!" Haha--I'm such a jokester. But, really, Josh from Clueless* could ask me out right now, and I'd have to tell him no. To quote another fictional crush I'd still have to turn down--Troy from High School Musical: "Got a lotta things that I haveta do."

Then, after I biked home, I found this in my voicemail:

"Hi, Alice. It is Clara. I love you. Bye."


Clara & Me in my AZ bathroom.

*So, I've decided to plot George's death, so she appreciates her life more instead of wiggin' about PhD applications all the time. She told me this makes me like the villain in the Saw movies. You see creepy? I see a hugely successful franchise.
**NOT to be confused with Paul Rudd. Ew--I'd turn down Paul Rudd even if I was anti-busy. Josh is the moneymaker.

All I wanna do is be with you, be with you.
There's nothing we can't do, just wanna be with you, only you.