The Beyonce Cleanse

A week ago I began the Master Cleanse (AKA The Beyonce Cleanse AKA The Lemonade Cleanse). If you haven't heard of this via Kelly Kapoor, it is a diet regimen that is meant to detox your system. Beyonce famously did it for two weeks to prepare for her role in Dreamgirls.

The Cleanse:
You drink a "lemonade" of lemon juice, cayenne pepper, and maple syrup 6 times a day.
You also drink laxative peppermint tea before bed and green tea in the morning.

When I began the cleanse, I told myself if I didn't feel good at any point, I would stop. I honestly didn't know if I would get past one day, but I wanted to try it out. It's been a wild school year, and at the end of every big adventure I like to detox everything. This week, besides Beyoncing I've been meditating daily, deep cleaning my bathroom, sorting old files, etc. You know. Getting refreshed! People sometimes try to use this cleanse for weight loss, but doing it for a week has probably lost me a pound or two (although I wouldn't know since I don't ever weigh myself), but I'm sure as soon as I put something solid in my body,  I'll return to normal. So, I'm not measuring the success of this diet by how I have changed externally--more how it's effected me internally.

Notes on the Experience:
-Deprivation. This cleanse supposedly resets your taste buds to be more in line with your body. IE--no more desire for foods we wouldn't naturally want. At first this was SO WRONG. Day Three was my only day of real hunger, and I spent literally hours of the day looking at restaurant menus and recipes online. But, now, Day Seven, that desire is gone. I'm not hungry really at all. I mean, yeah, food sounds good. I miss chewing. But, if I had to eat something, I'd opt for a piece of bread--not the Reese's Cookie Explosion Brownies that glowed from my computer screen four days ago.
     Two Schools of Thought: 1. Deprivation just makes you want it more. Or 2. Deprivation gets you back on track with what you ACTUALLY want.
-Being Social. I was asked out to dinner this week. Couldn't go. I'm not in school, so I am free as a birdy, and I've seen friends, but I know I'd be seeing them MUCH more if I were eating. HOWEVER, I DID attend my friend JD's graduation dinner. Oh. It was super glam. Pre-set menus, JD's parents footing the bill, ARTICHOKE PASTA, CHOCOLATE MOUSSE TORTE. I just drank water and watched the five courses spin around me. While that might sound like hell, it really wasn't bad.
     1. It's usually difficult to abstain from things we want when they are presented to us. But, I thought, we can get them basically any time. Like, yeah, I wanted that torte, but next week I can make that torte and eat it breakfast, lunch, and dinner. I wouldn't even WANT that, but I COULD. In just a week. Why feel like the world is going to collapse because I can't have it RIGHT NOW? There will always be more to come, you know?
     2. This was the most focused I've been on other people during a meal in a really long time. I never considered how much eating while socializing tears my concentration. Obviously, eating is social, so I'm still going to eat and socialize, but I feel much more aware of first being attentive to people second to my food.
-Good Feeling. I've spent so much time on the couch since finals ended. It's glorious. I did the exact thing last year--on Pookie's couch. I flopped for days watching Netflix, but the difference? I also ate bowl after bowl of ice cream and crackers. I ended up feeling so sluggish. It's been nice to relax while energized. But, of course, I'm happy to stop drinking that nasty potion.
-Cheap. Nothing pads your wallet like surviving on some lemons and a bottle of syrup for a week.

There's probably more, but that's what stands out. Overall, I'm glad I tried this. I do feel bouncier, fresher. I mean, the toxins have really been flushed out of my body. Amped to ease back into food!

Become the Future

Our past might be what influences us, but our future is what makes us. It is far more logical to act with the purpose of becoming who you want to be instead of in accordance with who you were yesterday.

5 AM in Carefree, AZ.


I'm livin' in the future, so the present is my past.

Richard Dawkins

Found my notes from the Richard Dawkins talk I saw this February with Pookie. Ideas from the legend:

-Trying to figure out God from our perspective is like looking for keys you dropped under a lamppost since that's where the light is.

-People say that our existence is proof of a higher power because us being here is so improbable, but, actually, the big surprise would be if nothing happened in am empty space.

-It's sad all politicians have to lie about being religious. They can't all possibly care. We need to be who we are and own it.

-Fear is a biological mechanism. It's not so bad.

Interesting ideas, Dawks. I enjoyed hearing him speak--despite not always entirely agreeing. Because I had a good, thought-provoking evening, when the dude was walking offstage to thunderous applause of four-thousand hands, I yelled up at him (I was in the front row) "Thanks!" and he smiled so so genuinely, and he pointed at me, like, "Hey, YOU thanks."

And then my sis and I went out with Blue Eyes to an Irish pub and sucked down cranberry juices.

Conversation about Past Mistakes

We discussed if bad things can be good because they lead to great things.

March 2012.

Yet

Sistah Sistah. Christmastime 2011.

Like when you're freezing in the Midwestern December, and you come inside from the dark (and it's dark even though it is 4 PM), and you shed your damp coat and kick off your Uggs, but you're still cold, shivering even, and you're blue, you're literally blue in the lips, but there are crescent rolls in the oven, and they smell like doughy divinity, so you walk over and crouch down to the orangey light. Your neck is frigid--oh--you forgot your scarf. It's dripping down your spine. You pull it around and drop it to the linoleum. You open the door and the wave of heat blasts at you. OH, IT FEELS SO GOOD.

That's what it's like here in summer. 90s with no humidity. People don't understand how I can be in love with this endless rock terrain, but, oh, it feels so good.

Yet, I am willing to give it up--neigh, happy to leave--because the prize is my family!

One week.

Another Vegan Month Over

My annual vegan month closed out on Monday. Last year Vegan April was a struggle for me. I found myself fantasizing about non-vegan snacks a LOT--snacks that I didn't even eat frequently.

On my drive to 25th Annual...Spelling Bee rehearsal, I passed a huge strip of fast food places, and I remember thinking, "I want a milkshake from every one of these chains. I swear to all that is dairy, I am living a deleted scene of The Odyssey."

But this month, I was actually so cozy in Vegan April, I honestly forgot about it. Notes on the experience:

1. This year, I've been mostly vegan, so most of my meals didn't change. I have huge thanks to give to peanut butter tortillas, Taco Bell bean burritos, Ethiopian food, and hummus.
2. I now have two vegan friends and a collection of sympathetic vegetarians. People are not just tolerant of my veganness--they consider it when we make plans, make food. It's not just about your ethical eating choices--you influence an entire community.
3. I continue to be interested in freeganing, but it's really not my favorite. I find when I freegan, I am less satisfied with meals since it's little bits here and there instead of something whole and satisfying.
4. Unlike previous years, I had access to vegan ice cream--which is huge.
5. I cheated twice.
     A. I made up my mind to eat a milk chocolate bunny for Easter. It was a gift, so it's not like I bought it, but if I hadn't eaten it in April, I would have eaten it in May, so I felt confident in my choice to nom it.
     B. Last week, I had an insane craving for french fries and a milkshake. I was working an twelve hour shift, and I could not imagine any other dinner. I decided to enjoy the crave and vowed to do a vegan makeup in May (maybe a cop-out since many of my days are vegan). I don't think this is that bad either. I told someone about this, and she said, "See? What if I were a vegetarian except I ate meat just once a month!?" And I said, "That would be awesome." Because it would. It's about doing the best you can. But REALLY doing the best you can. It was a conscious choice that I considered for literally hours when I cheated--if everyone took that much respect to the foods we eat, we'd live in a much better world.
6. I continue to respect veganism, but there are a few things that hold me back from the full commitment:
     A. It's very hard for me to pass up baked goods other people make, but, I did it all month, so not that hard. What I think is actually worse is that the sweets I eat are worse than if I just ate non-vegan dessert. IE I will eat literally 30 Oreos in a sitting, when I'd be much more satisfied with 1 non-vegan brownie.
     B. I only like non-vegan salad dressing, and it seems counter-productive to my health to give up salads in the name of veganism.
7. I've lost most interest in milk, most cheese (besides pizza), and while I like eggs, I'm sane about losing them.
8. If you are reading this, please consider how you can change just one thing in your diet temporarily. You will probably find it can be permanent--or at least, a rarity.

One! Year! Down!

That's right. As of yesterday, I was done with all my finals/projects. It was also May 1st--IE the end of Vegan April. Celebration? Cupcakes! Funded by my Chicago Auntie.

Om. Friggin'. Nom. 

A halfway there party because I had another twelve hour work shift today, and I had a booty-ton of screenplays to grade.

But, guess what? As of 9 PM tonight--I had clocked out for the last time at the disability center, the last screenplay was graded, and I was officially done done DONE. Crazy, right?! One whole year under my belt! 33%! Meaning, if I were getting a grade in grad school...I...would...Oh. Hm. I would be failing miserably. But that's okay because by this time next year...oh. I'll have a 66%. A "D." Hm. Well, two years from today I'll have my degree. So, put THAT red velvet in yo' mouth and eat it!

Sid, ASF Club, Moi in dessert delight.