Too Big, Too Fast

"It's okay. You were too big for it here." He told me. We touched down, and the tears started squirting. My place of dirt and stone, of mountains and prickly pear. I outgrew my own loved life like that pair of Old Navy tennies from high school, pea green and full of holes. My Japanese father picked them up and said "Gomi bako," which means trash can.

Bisque's mom made the stuffing veg. It was filled with pumpkin seeds, and I slathered on cranberry sauce. At the neighborhood holiday party Hill greeted me with a hug and news of s'mores. I didn't eat dessert for 30 days of November (!), and this weekend broke the fast in the way I imagine buildings explode--quietly and then with amazing destructive force.

On Friday Shells picked me up like a Jewish mother frequently interrupting to offer me snacks. I ate six donuts. The literal best I've ever eaten.Cherry chocolate, honey glaze. I ate them while we talked about our movie. I drank the peppermint mocha poolside. Meep dipping her legs in. The gang all together, I ate more with forks and knives, and we laughed like banshees at Cager's honesty and Kale's memory of that time four guys were trying to date her and she was taking up crocheting.

I was so tired at the wedding I drank ridiculous amounts of coffee. It was so sweet though--extra cold as I sat next to Ro in her sunglasses, like always. I can't believe it's been four months. It is so like always. Still managed to dance and dance. Sunset in Scottsdale, people and vows in a sun too bright I had to close my eyes. At the after-brunch there was light conversation and everything ending too soon. It was catch up the whole while. Wake up early to get five miles in. It's too gorgeous not to. Thighs dry and lumped as a result. Talking in advice like tickertape to Cobra, over biscuits with Lavender. So much has happened and I covered it all 80 times over. This is what I do, yes, it is cool, yes, I'm doing well, no, not THAT well, but yes, maybe one day.

And when all was said and done, after The Hunger Games tradition and new plastic cups and the 3:30 AM cab ride we were back here and shocked. I stood in the whipped cold and whined, mainly as a result of 180 minutes of sleep, but I did. The couch was too good. I made a promise to get through the day at school, buy cereal, and eat it until I fell asleep too early, which I absolutely did right after we watched the first episode of The OC.