Tuesday, June 18, 2013


I hate Vegas. I didn't think I'd like it, but I disliked it much more than I had anticipated. The first time I walked to the bus from our hotel room through the casino I almost turned in for the weekend right then. No sense of time or light, putrid carpet, hoards (all carrying slurpees of booze and smoking inside), ching cha ching bling bling sirens sirens sirens. And it was hot. So hot. I sat next to a woman at David Copperfield* who was staying for free at the MGM Grand because she takes so many trips out to the city of sin. HOW people enjoy this vacation is beyond me. I actually loved my trip--but despite the location instead of because.

Ro and Cager felt too nauseous on the Disk-O to ride it twice. But, it was my favorite part of the Adventuredome, so I did. They danced, both their wild hair-dos flying everywhere, at the base of the ride. I laughed when I was spun toward them. I want you to take over control, take over control, take take take take over control. Music is always blaring in Vegz. I closed my eyes as the giant machine whirred on, hitting the highest point, leaving me in freefall for less time than I could measure, but long enough to feel.

Other things:
-The best brunch I have ever had. At the Wynn. Holy lemon meringue.
-Being called a "trollop" by a homeless dude.
-Screaming about scabies in Eli Roth's Goretorium.
-Cirque de Soleil! Flipz! Acrobatz! Dude in a crab costume!
-The final night, as we were falling alseep to The Wedding Planner, a commercial for Vegas Vacations came on TV. The catch phrase was "Living the Dream." We looked at ourselves. I was wearing moose boxers that I had just dribbled water on, makeup all smeared, wreaking of smoke, watching a JLo movie at 2 AM in a circus themed hotel. Is this the dream now?
-Pancakes in Old Vegas at midnight.
-Cager's mystic store/place of employment.
-All the Cher jokes you can imagine.
-New York New York roller coaster and Stratosphere. Cager constantly telling us how all the rides are prone to break-downs. "We might get shot off the top."

Ro and I scurried into the airport at 8. An hour before our flight. "I hope we make it," she said. "Well, if we don't," I reassured her, "it will be because we felt the need to put on temporary tattoos before we left this morning." Mine is a golden unicorn. It's on my shoulder.

*More detailed update on this coming!

Do you believe in life after love?
I can feel something inside me saying,
I really don't think you're strong enough.

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