Thursday, October 1, 2009

Passionate Nights

Four years ago, I was playing Laura in The Glass Menagerie. I started suffering some minor depression. Some of my sadness was exacerbated by my constant need to get into pathetic shoes. Literally. I had to wear these nasty tan ones to emphasize being a cripple.



(the cast: Tom Wingfield, Laura Wingfield, Jim the Gentleman Caller, Amanda Wingfield)

But, during the day I would be quiet and thoughtful--focusing on all the wrong things of course. Yet, I would want to yell and make scenes and be candidly my emotions. Although being in the play may have been a little challenging for my mental health, overall I think it was good for me because for an hour and a half or so per day I COULD be as nuts as I wanted.

I go through my whole day. I'm older and more honest, so not much gets pent up in me anymore. But, even if there is nothing to be passionate about in my life, I GET TO BE for a few hours every night. Classes, running, meals, small talk, good talk, chores, planning, etc. etc. etc. Then, at 6:30, I am loud and drunk and in pain and in desire and wanting with all of my core. All the perks to acting up without any repercussions to me personally. How do people live without getting their daily dose of raw passion? Do they just eventually explode? I seriously cannot imagine what is like to not care about performing/making art.

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