Saturday

Emergency trip to Target to buy a curling iron, both of mine are broken, the bus was twenty minutes late, so I walked in the rain, getting sweaty under my slick jacket, while there I also better get a notebook for lessons plans, oh god I still haven't finished the syllabus, school is in five days, later later later, do a Jillian Michaels workout, it's hard, I whimper, "I'm dying" but gotta get the energy out, use the new curling iron, it's not that great, did I keep the receipt? I hope so I don't remember I have to eat a big breakfast, I'm going to be busy through lunch, spinach bowl and four strips--no eight strips--veggie bacon, pack my duffel bag full, now I'm really pushing it, I jump in the Lyft, I arrive one minute late to my first writing packet writing class, the teacher is three minutes late, he launches in right away and does not let up for forty minutes, shoot I thought I'd have had a moment to--apologize before 1 PM? I raise my hand an say I have to go, I do, my Lyft is taking a while I get a coffee at Whole Foods, it's too strong, I don't drink it, I arrive at SC, we warm up, we go right into setting the lights, setting the lights, run this group scene, last minute adjustments, makeup, hair, sitting for half an hour, not quite enough time to read, I look at my lines, I look at the running order, we get "places" so I'm in the left corner backstage by the mic I do the fire call, yes I'm doing the fire call, "In accordance with Actor's Equity there will be no photography of any kind allowed" and I'm on stage, you know the one like everyone ever performed on that one, we do the thing, I change, Puhg greets me with a bag of Old Navy shorts, he just went shopping, he was in the fourth row, I saw him, we meet my castmates sipping complimentary drinks, I have a big pretzel, I'm really hungry, in ten minutes my old company is starting their show, I run upstairs to the cab theatre, wait in line to comp myself in, at the front the girl tells me I'm waiting at a bar, who knew, I get in and sit with Flood's boyfriend, I laugh loud and proud I love them, I give all the congrats, I sit on a bench for ten minutes, go into a classroom, my new group, I've been plopped in, they're all thick as thieves, also everyone dressed up in 80s attire for the show, everything is strange, we warm up and talk about our form, in an hour we're doing it, it's weird, it's over, I run into Dum, we walk to the Brown line together and catch up, talk and talk until my stop comes, I text girlfriends and ask if they're out or if they have brownies, no one does, omg I am hungry, I make it home and eat crackers and cheese, Puhg is sleepy and sad (he watched The Pianist while I did an improvised After School Special), it's time for bed, it's time for bed.

Homecoming

-ate crackers and cheese on the couch
-Puhg shows me how he cleaned the shower, there is also a "Welcome Home" banner
-walked the neighborhood, seeing what's new and not
-Puhg dines on some buckwheat pancakes
-sleeping in my own bed
-lake walk while I talk lines out loud for next gig
-my favorite feel good brunch!
-appt. and green smoothie
-improv and sketch rehearsal with people I don't know who I now like!
-hugging a crying friend
-buying candy at Walgreens and then deciding I want different candy and no one giving me guff for exchanging DOLLAR CANDY (ended up with Buncha Crunch fyi)
-saw Lights Out on $6 Tuesday, some good scares, some good movie seat cuddles!
-unpack everything
-back to the gym, my step teacher gave me a sweaty hug!
-grocery shoppin'
-discussing comedy over fancy hot cocoa with Flood
-but also working my tail off, seriously my tail is gone because of lesson plans and writing contests and lines and emails but I am home I am home I am home

Ambition/Peace

Arizona was a magical part of my life. Specifically the first two years before sadness and success started creeping in. She sings you don't know what you got til it's gone, but I did. I read my textbooks by the pool and praised the sunset as I biked home every night. I ate cookie dough for dinner and had a Netflix account that allowed me two whole hours of streaming per month.

Some days my life is even more magical than it's ever been. Period. But other days I wake with Ambition, and sometimes I suck it down and fall asleep easy. Other days I'm scrambling or can't scramble and lay down in a pit with my Instagram and a loaf of loathe.

Everything has become a countdown when actually THIS is the time of our lives.

Becoming a Woman

In Bossy Pants, Tina Fey explains that most women, when asked to identify the moment, usually realize they have "become a woman" in some relation to men (either they were hit on, or kissed, etc.). I don't know exactly when I "became a woman." I appreciate the recent movement for ladies above 18 to be called "women" and not "girls," but I would  (myself) rather be called a girl? I guess in the comedy community I don't know, like, ANY people I would refer to as full adults. I call "men" guys and "women" ladies or gals.

I do, however, know that when I was in high school and SNL did a cold open that mapped the FRIENDS finale over George Bush and Dick Cheney in the oval office, I had to explain what all the jokes meant to my mom. I think that was a decent mile-marker entry into adulthood.

Ocean Reflections: Long Distance

Getting restless to see Puhg. We've been apart so long, and we've reached the level of longing where we daydream about going grocery shopping together.

Long distance is never ideal, but honestly, it hasn't been terrible. We have a very healthy relationship together, and, welp, that didn't change when I was at sea. We're both open communicators in terms of what we need, expect, and appreciate in our relationship. And we both (with very rare exception) follow through when the other asks for anything. It was important for me to hear from Puhg at the end of the day, so if my phone was eating texts, he would be sure to fire off an email to me. Puhg likes photos, so I was sure to send him four or five on my day in port. He wired me money to buy a new Easter dress. I delivered chocolate bunnies to the apartment. And at the end of the contracts I would always be going home. No amorphous blob of "future."

In some ways, I feel we have gotten closer. Because I went on a weird adventure, we shared a free Caribbean cruise vacation. We had the time and savings to visit Spain. We both encountered new challenges individually and were able to experience working through them as a team. After being apart for so long, we appreciate so much more about "regular" life. I miss the minutia. I am dead Emily in Our Town with a pang in my heart wishing I could hear one of his made up chopping vegetables songlets.

We've come across many could be perceived as obstacles forks from my artistic journey. Two and a half years ago some friends told me it was naive to want the dream and the love. How could I consider moving at all? But we love Chicago. It's made our lives incredible in so many unforeseeable ways.

When all I had was an invite to the ship audition, it seemed scary. If Puhg had told me "Don't go," I wouldn't have gone. But I suppose I'd also never be dating someone who told me "Don't go." It's too simple to reason, "If you're serious about this relationship, you won't endanger it with a wild experience." But, again, now that I am two short weeks from reunion, I know we are better for it.

Five Awesome Things That Happened on August 3rd!

1. Two mile walk while listening to This American Life!
2. I worked on my new screenplay fueled by a snickerdoodle iced coffee and a s'more muffin from a hut called "Deja Brew." The treats were a total of $3! Maine prices!
3. Met up with a woman I met on the cruise ship who happens to live in Maine and happens to be a high school theatre teacher and also happens to have been trained in Michael Chekhov which no one is ever trained in but I was!
4. Did two short form improv shows and entered the musical game as a Taco Fairy and sang a song called "With Great Tacos Come Great Responsibility"!
5. Dollar made us all go to a little beach on the way home, and I was annoyed, but then "Love Story" by T Swift played while we were lost in the woods and when we finally got to the beach the stars were incredible and I could see so much Milky Way and Jams kept seeing shooting stars and apologizing since we didn't see them so we all decided to look the same direction and the brightest shooting star ever flew down and turned GREEN AND EXPLODED and we squealed with delight!