It has come to my attention that a lot of people's image problems (body, fashion, race) stem from advertising. Skinny models, trendy-looking teens, white families, etc. for all products--not even inherently image ones. Like, hotties are shown next to everything from diamond rings to toilet brushes. It's really just too much. So I have an alternate marketing plan.
I propose that advertisements cannot involve people anymore. Just the product. No people eating the bagels, just a bag of bagels. No people calling on cell phones, just the phone. No emergency dispatchers, just text "emergency dispatcher service." If the advertisement absolutely needs a sentient being, it can use Grimace. You know. The purple blob in tennis shoes from the McDonald's gang? If you must sell cars with people driving them, you can have a couple of Grimaces. If you have got to put the new sweaters on a thing, put them on a Grimace. If you want to use comedy or a voice over, uses Grimaces doing sketch or a Grimace voice.
I think everyone would be much happier. And products would be bought on their legitimate merit instead of a subliminal code about how attractive the actor was. Seriously, name one problem with this plan. Who's with me?