CTA Gender Politics

If I see an older woman standing on the bus, I feel I need to offer her my seat, but if I see an older man standing, he has to be really old for me to get up. Mostly I wouldn't mind, but it's really more for his benefit. Like it might be a little embarrassing for him to be seen as weak.

When I get offered seats, I don't usually know what to do. It's a gentlemanly thang, which should be encouraged maybe, but it's not really necessary. If the guy says nothing, I take the seat. If he says, "Here you go," I say, "Oh, its okay" for some reason and keep standing even though I really do want to sit down. If I'm with classmates or a friend and a seat opens and I am gestured towards it, I do take it.

Last week on an extremely packed train, I was annoyed to be standing. It was a very tiring day in class, and my feet hurt. I looked over and made brief eye contact with a guy I recognized from another section of the intensive. I can't be sure, but I think there was a glint of guilt in his eye. Every time I kind of peeked over, I could tell he was debating standing up or not. But he also looked very tired, and I'm sure he really didn't want to. If I had been him, I probably would have just stood. It's never worth it to be a wee bit more comfortable in the face of guilt. But, he didn't, and I endured the miserable, uneasy ride home.

Part of me is like, good for that guy because I really have no business thinking I deserve a seat. We both have feet. But the other part of me is like, WAAAAAH PAMPER ME, STRANGER DUDES! And the biggest part of me feels bad that guys have to constantly ask themselves these stupid questions about politeness (getting up, door holding, "after you"ing, etc. etc.).

UGH. I really don't get why we couldn't have all been created one asexual gender. There would be so many fewer problems in the world. That's a fact.