Feelings/ Fixings: I

My heart is broken for Eric Harrises. The Eric Harris who was accidentally murdered by a bumbling police volunteer and was yelled at and belitted as he died unarmed in a street. I googled his family to find out what they are saying, if they're okay. But all I came up with was the other Eric Harris--the Columbine one. And my heart breaks for him too.

People need so much love. We are endless love vacuums. I cannot possibly fathom what kind of life the Tulsa policeman with his big black swoop arm tatts has had to make him believe screaming at a dying man was okay. Police training needs a huge HUGE overhaul. Sensitivity training should be the most important thing they learn. The world needs an overhaul. Remembering those poor Littleton kids--how come they didn't feel love? What could have been different? Is it run of the mill high school bullying or is it a worm in our souls that can never be satiated until it is free?

Date Night?

There was something equally creepy and sweet about the couple that sat next to each other in the Film Ethics: Sex and Violence class I TA'd last semester. Their hands were always locked. When we'd dim the lights, the girl would pull a bag of M&Ms out of her backpack, quietly tear the corner, and pour some into her beau's free palm.

I semi-dread Thursdays at 4:30 because I have to watch the new sex & violence hit o' da week. But that girl in the tight jeans and flip flops, the boy in the plaid shorts, it was their time, and...well, I don't know what else to say.

Where Does Being Nice Get You?

"Nice" is basically an insult these days. I mean, I think so. I take it as "in lieu of a real compliment:" It's the backside of a silver spoon or a perfectly triangle slice of yellow cake.

And most of us at one point (or many) times in our lives have asked "Where will being nice get me for real?" Indeed, there are times we feel we cannot be heard if we're nice, successful if we're nice, loved if we're nice.

When you're an educator, and a student meets with you, and the student is nice, it's really hard not to help her succeed in the class. I wouldn't act immorally and pass a failing kid or offer extra help to some and not all, but I am hard-pressed to find flaw in a nice student.

When I worked at at Marble Slab, I remember it was literally as simple as Please and Thank You if I was going to help a customer out of a credit card jam, getting a discount, putting a cherry on top. Just being nice, the whole world opened up for those people.

In rehearsal this evening we discussed the US involvement with Pakistan. Complicated to say the least. And Jersey said, "It's so stupid. It's like paying a schoolyard bully not to beat you up, but, meanwhile, you're a six-foot juicehead!" Point taken. But, part of it is about...niceness. There's a niceness.

Nice flowers at a nice wedding in 2010.

Seriously consider what could have been avoided in the history of crime, violence, and hatred if everyone were nice. The immediate reaction is to say, "No, no. The nice guys would just get taken advantage of." But would they? If EVERYONE was nice. If everyone were nice, wouldn't domination seem a hassle?