Bought a New Notebook and Wrote Dreams on the Cover

Februarys have historically been transformative for me. Like I need a month to soak in the new year. At the end of my bath, I reflect.

What happened in 2019:

-Family visited LA multiple times.
-Took an improv class at a famous theatre that I abhorred.
-Promoted from Researcher to Associate Producer to Writer at my old show.
-Featured on TV several times. I never really thought about this or cared or got paid. That is valuable, interesting info.
-Old show was cancelled and the wide world of opportunity doors opened.
-Signed with a manager.
-The wide world of opportunity doors closed many many many times.
-Visited Chicago and Michigan to see friends and family.
-Went to Edinburgh for a month to perform sold-out comedy shows every night at Fringe.
-Wrote two full-length plays (one in June, one in August) and one ten-minute (November).
-Revised an original pilot three times.
-Friends visited.
-Besides the UK tour, did around 20 improv shows.
-Had a bunch of meetings (varying degrees of success).
-Went to a bunch of union events.
-Attended my Association in Chicago.
-Gave paid notes four times.
-Ghostwrote a speech for a big event.
-Had a play produced in Arizona. Workshopped my teeny brains out.
-Had my teeny professional heart broken around a dozen times.
-Began re-outlining a feature.
-Thanksgiving in Phoenix.
-Two staffing meetings.
-One pitch meeting.
-Onset writer for a Netflix feature starring wonderful people, created by wonderful people. Felt artistically fulfilled and challenged.
-Disneyland with my mom.
-Fancy Hawaii trip with Puhg.

Probably more things I've forgotten.

Feelings/ Fixings: I

My heart is broken for Eric Harrises. The Eric Harris who was accidentally murdered by a bumbling police volunteer and was yelled at and belitted as he died unarmed in a street. I googled his family to find out what they are saying, if they're okay. But all I came up with was the other Eric Harris--the Columbine one. And my heart breaks for him too.

People need so much love. We are endless love vacuums. I cannot possibly fathom what kind of life the Tulsa policeman with his big black swoop arm tatts has had to make him believe screaming at a dying man was okay. Police training needs a huge HUGE overhaul. Sensitivity training should be the most important thing they learn. The world needs an overhaul. Remembering those poor Littleton kids--how come they didn't feel love? What could have been different? Is it run of the mill high school bullying or is it a worm in our souls that can never be satiated until it is free?

Heartbreak in Amarillo

Just stepped outside the hotel after running at the gym (called "Zach's Club 54" by the way...come on Fairfield Inn, what are you trying to prove?). I saw green. Lush grass surrounding the parking lot. More green than one would know what to do with. My heart imploded. Goodbye, desert. Goodbye.

Entering Texas.

Will be in the Midwest by tonight. Will dream of:

Last night in AZ. No filter.