Bossy

The term "bossy" has really exploded in feminist culture and writings lately. People be like, "That is an inappropriate term for women." (Mainly because, like "bitch," "bossy" is never applied to men since assertive male leaders are just called, like, "president.") Meanwhile, Nicki Minaj and Kelis are making it their own: I am bossy. I am a bitch. That's my right. Worship me. Donna on Parks & Rec compliments or degrades Leslie via Twitter by alternating hashtags of #BitchBoss and #BossBitch.

My jury is still out, but the debate resurfaced a memory I had long buried. It was the summer before 7th grade and my gang of gal pals had spent the day riding bikes and hanging out in various parks. We ended up at someone's house, and I thought it would be fun to do some project. I honestly don't remember what. Something with writing. Everyone was being sort of lazy and not listening--understandable because it was summer vacation. Anyway, the three girls eventually sort of left the room one by one and announced they weren't going to listen to me because I was being bossy.

How was I being bossy? I wanted to know. Tell me what was bossy. I was offering everyone creative equality. "You just were." But I just had an idea of something to do. We were all bored. So I literally found a dictionary, read the definition of bossy, and asked, "What in here? Give me facts."

I don't think they were necessarily wrong, but I know I didn't get an answer, and I'm pretty sure I biked home and spent the night alone. In my middle school gang (there were about eight of us, thick as greek yogurt) people always made fun of me for saying "Can you give me an example?" Like, "Alice, you're always so blah blah blah." To which I would reply, "Give me an example." I still do this, and, come to think of it, it has frustrated people my whole life. That could be "pushy" (one of the definitions of "bossy.") But I'm honestly not trying to be right. I'm not trying to be "bossy" (whether that is a fair assessment or not). I just want to know.

Tramps Like Us

24 tunes for the year I was 24 (in chronological order):

1. Call Me Maybe--Carly Rae Jepson
so many summer runs
2. Starships--Nicki Minaj
singing with/at the kids at camp
3. I Won't Give Up--Peter Hollens coverin' Mraz
Chicago afternoons
4. Comfort and Joy--Bat Boy
numba one biking tune
5. Born to Run--Bruce Springsteen
writing and directing pump-up/read Battle Royale this year
6. Dancing on My Own--Robyn
so much belting on my scooter, dancing in my bedroom
7. Internet Friends--Knife Party
lots of scary stories/houses this fall
8. Payphone--Maroon 5
so much ironic singing with Dizz during Trel's wedding weekend
9. God Bless the USA--Lee Greenwood
curtain call of the play I was in
10. Sweetie--Carly Rae Jepson
feely-goodest jam of 2012
11. We Are Never Ever Ever Getting Back Together--Taylor Swift
singing on Thanksgiving with my sistah, on Disney roadtrip with Hill
12. Perfect Day--Hoku
24 was a year of (mostly) just being HAPPY
13. Never Quite Free--Mountain Goats
John D in concert, this ditty is so inspiring
14. Red--Taylor Swift
listened to this in LA morning of improv Regionals
15. Holland Road--Mumford and Sons
rough winter, but emerged with hope
16. BedRock--Young Money
I dunno why I got into this again!?
17. (What A) Wonderful World--Sam Cooke
ah yes, forever stuck in my head after watching Witness EVERY SEMESTER
18. Starlight--Muse
Hearts.
19. Barbara Ann--The Beach Boys
the sing-a-long of choice for my improv team
20. Come Back When You Can--Barcelona
so much gratitude for the best people in my life
21. Hang with Me--Robyn
Coke Rats Number One Hit! (and only)
22. Totally F*cked--Spring Awakening
anthem for finals obvi
23. Call Your Girlfriend--Robyn
screamed this during Muffy's entire vizz
24. Synesthesia--Andrew McMahon
I mean, new Andy, you know?

Last Year's List: 23

And you tell her that the only way her heart will mend
is when she learns to love again.

8.5

Chomp chomp chomp!

Last Saturday I went to the performances of a 24 Hour Play Festival and then to see some of my improv team dudes' longform group do a set at a tiny artsy venue. I really liked having a night of watching people perform. I've been onstage so much lately, I forgot how nice it is to be an audience member.

Chelle told me I was going to be surprised post-show. As promised, I got into her car, closed my eyes, and started singing "Super Bass." When she told me I could open my eyes, there was a warm box of thirteen donuts on my lap. LOCAL LATE NIGHT DONUT SHOP! We were headed to a party after, and I biked, so my only option was to eat all the donuts before going home. Can't bike with a box of donuts, you know?

To make a long story short, I managed to give 4.5 away, but the party ended for me sitting in the driveway with Chelle and a couple other girls, as I nommed through 8.5 fresh donuts. People would come and go--sometimes they took a donut, sometimes they didn't. One guy, who had done improv that night, passed, and I said, "Great show tonight." He was hopping into a car. "Thanks!" he yelled back.

This guy was at my improv show Friday night. Afterwards he was hanging around with my cast. I said, "Oh, we haven't officially met." He said, "Yeah...I saw you at the party, but I was leaving, and you were, like, having a girl pow wow..."

"Oh, I was eating a box of donuts."

"Haha! Yeah, something like that!"

"...No. That's what I was doing."

"Oh."

The moral of the story is that I love Chelle. She's undergoing surgery right now, so, this one's for her. <3



I said, Excuse me, you're a hell of a guy.
I mean, my, my, my, you're like pelican fly.