minutes

Spent today with Tira. Unexpectedly even. Out of character for me, especially on a high pressure day like today. I had to set my goals and dream my dreams and all that. Was up early compiling a little batch of photos for the internet. I don’t usually like posting recaps, but for some reason I felt compelled this year. I bopped to the cafe to yap with Puhg. I sold him on the party for tonight by promising him we could leave by 12:30. The wild girl from our building cycloned in with her redheaded friend. Puhg tried to get their take, and I said, no no they’re nuts. They cackled and jumped around, told us they aren’t nuts at all! Redhead went on, they spent last new years shoveling ice cream into their mouths at 11:47, before the diet started.

So I sat on the balcony a bit, enjoying the rain, then gathered my little chipmunk bag and trotted to the crystal shop for a sound bath. Tira met me and we let the bowls wash us away. I wrote down three words I want to bring into 2026 and three words I don’t. I got an idea that is either insane or wonderful.

We went to use the bathroom at my alcove nearby, then why not have a little treat, you know? Tira said, “You can’t believe that stuff 100% or you go psycho, but you do have to believe…something.” We each got bowls of cocoa, a strawberry cheesecake for Tira and a snickerdoodle slice for me. She and her girlfriend broke up at Christmas and she just got a job as a line cook even though she’s been nominated for Emmys. We talk about how sad it is to grieve our industry but how we don’t feel it’s right to leave just yet. It’s hard to describe, but we both feel it in our bones.

Tira mentions picking up dinner for later. Money is weird. A big theme of the year. I haven't scrimped this hard since 2017 but it doesn't ever make a difference. I'll cut a subscription or a hobby or plans and that's when rent goes up. It makes me sick that Puhg and I throw 30K to a giant conglomerate every year. One thing I still haven't sorted out is how to think about things and not think about things at the same time. I recommend the local pizza shop instead of the high-end corner joint and once we get there it smells so good we decide to each get the lunch special. I buy, and it feels really warm because Tira bought me my first lunch in our old TV writers’ room. Things come back around. The owner hustles out with our little sauces and Cokes. She's in good spirits with a blonde ponytail. I get home at 2:30 and write for a long time. I don’t feel satisfied with any of the drafts, give up around 6 and take a shower.

I have to get ready for the aforementioned party, so I’ll have to reflect more on my year tomorrow or the next day. I try not to bring anything negative into fresh Januarys—even reflection maybe. I spent yesterday doing tedious tax calculations and getting bloodwork and writing my insurance and paying my bills. Still, I wish I could leave some of the chewing behind me too. But maybe this is good for me. Not much exists in perfect lines, from 11:59 to midnight what is the difference? But there is a difference. One can't let too many minutes slip.