Started to get nervous leading up to graduation. I have a job and plan for next year, so not about that. Rather, I was afraid to cry at graduation. It's such a happy day with so many freaking people around and so many cameras...I had this horrid image of me bawling my little eyes out while shuffling across the stage, getting my diploma all wet.
I'm so so dang grateful for my entire four years. The good and the bad, the happiness and the sadness. My college experience has been super dope. I almost considered listing all the things that made it so, but it would be the longest list of all time. So, I'm okay as we line up and start the procession, but as I entered the auditorium with "Pomp and Circumstance" blasting out the organ, and a thousand beaming faces around me, and my family all cheering silently and snapping pictures, and my classmates surrounding me, and then, all my professors on stage looking down at us...I did start to tear up. Then, we sang one of my favorite hymns. NO! I willed the tears to suck back up into my eyes. And! They did! I had this epiphany that I usually apply to theatre. I know if I got all riled about about a final performance I am cheating myself from knowing that my experience is a continual line--not segments of experience. It's all additive. That's the key. Graduation and college--no different. I was all smiles and it was fine. I walked, pointed and bowed to a few notable profs, and shook and took, and was sunny for all pictures.
Capstone Ladies Minus Kiwi
Yesterday Kay and I had lunch at Baker's Square on our way to Chicago. It was delicious. We were happy--sharing gratitude for the whole shindig, and then I said how nice it was to see all the people on stage who helped get us there. And it all came out--right onto my strawberry cream cheese pie. A million tears bottled for about 24 hours. I am so grateful for so much. He came around, we laughed, we enjoyed pie, I checked on Blanche, we drove away.
Here the future is always so clear.
