Defense

Today at 3:30 MST I defended my Master's thesis. I wasn't too worried.

My committee (four professors who have been giant shaping mechanisms for three years) sat smiling at a rectangle table. They were good-natured because I brought them cookies and because they knew what I knew. The heavy lifting is in the distant past now--my play opened half a year ago, my comprehensive exam was in February.

They asked me a few questions. They made a few comments. The feel was "Good on you" and the meeting was more "You have a lot of places you can go!" vs. "Let's navel-gaze at where you've been." I feel excited to move on. I love/ have loved school. But this chapter is over, and I have no desire to drag my feet.

I had to leave the room. I felt a pang of concern. It's strange to stand outside doors while people talk about you. I waited longer than I expected to. Wasn't it just yay or neigh? What's taking so long? Is someone asking I do more revisions of something? I stood still because I had nothing in my hands (which never happens anymore--hi, cell phones). The door opened. They said I'd be a Master. They all hugged me.

I don't usually love hugs, and this wasn't an acception. But that's fine. I know I have learned a lot in grad school, and most of it these people don't even know. That's also fine.

The library. Took this my first week of grad school.

I remember going out to dinner with my cousin when I was living in San Diego winter 2007. A strange thing. We went to a nice Italian place and one of his friends joined. We both got risoutto. Halfway through the meal she mentioned she had just finished her final grad school exam that day. I remember thinking it was an odd way to celebrate such a big thing. A rando dinner with two friends and a cousin? But now I get it. I'm here. The show must go on.

Perfection: Part II

Hein Shrine. Kyoto. 2008.

There are two options:

1. Act, even boldly, and be able to defend your action to anyone that ever asks.
2. Don't act if you cannot defend that action. Even if you only can't explain it to one person.

And I took you in right then and there,
and life took on a new form.
No more stayin' out all night.
No more killin' ourselves just to make ourselves feel alright.

Cite Your Sources

It's amazing what we'll defend as true purely because it's what we've always known. Case in point: This morning over breakfast sammiches, after we ran a fiver together, Sid mentioned how cats jump. I said, "They're the most flexible animal." He said, "Really?" and looked a bit quizzical.

"Yeah, they are..." and then I trailed off because I realized I leaned that from an Animorphs book. So, maybe I shouldn't rattle off that "fact" with such dignity in the future.