Adventures in Gym Class: Part I

After the marathon I wanted a change from running. April 1st I purchased a month group fitness pass at the university gym. It's been an experience.

-My first step class I was told, "This is really an advanced step class..." I thanked the instructor, but I knew I could keep up. How tired could one get from merely stepping up and down on an itty platform? UM, A LOT TIRED. Also, so so confused. Like, how do full-on Britney Spears backup dances happen in a 50 minute step class?! Several times in the routine I completely lost the choreography and just marched in place.

-There is a Mennonite girl who takes Zumba with me. If you don't know about Zumba, it is Latin hip-hop cardio. Lots of hips. Ol' Menny busts it out like the rest of us--except instead of booty shorts, she's wagging a huge tan floor-length skirt.

-I've come to really love Step now that I have the basics down pat. It's a workout for the body and mind because you have to continually remember the combos while doing them. I like running to unwind, to clear my head, but this is a different type of head-clearing. Nothing in the world can possibly pop in the noodle when I'm rocking-horsing like a champion. It makes me sad these types of exercise are seen as "girly" and stupid because they're actually challenging in a completely different way than lifting weights (for example). More Dudes in Step Classes 2014.

-My fave class is Boot Scoot. Yeah, that's the real title. It's aerobic country line dancing, AND IT IS GLORIOUS. Apparently this opinion is not widespread because sometimes I am the only person in class. Besides the retarded man who sometimes joins, talking nonstop to himself as "Wagon Wheel" blares and I try not to grapevine into him.

HOLLA ATCHA MENTAL GAME (Part One)

Today I ran 12 miles for my marathon training weekly "long run." I have known I would run 12 miles today since last Saturday, right after I ran 9. Now, if you're impressed, you really shouldn't be. I'm slow. Mainly I read and watch Netflix. A lot like what you do on a Saturday. Just plus a treadmill. But, still if you were like, "Yeah, but I couldn't run twelve miles on any old day!" I would say, "Me neither!"

It's actually incredible what mental planning allows us to do. All week when I mentally imagined my weekend, I knew at noon on Saturday I would run 12 miles. It was just, what was slated to do. No question about it. And what do you know, it wasn't even tiring! Enjoyable even. I read a bunch of Rachel Dratch's new book. Now, had I been in some weird horror-movie car-break-down-12-miles-from-gas-station, I might not have been able to run those 12 miles. Not just because I probably hadn't just eaten a protein bar like I did an hour before my run today. Just because mentally, I wouldn't have been prepared. Also, depending on the situation, a serial killer has buzzsawed my legs off? Unless my sister or Muffy were in the car and, like, thirsty or hobbled by a sprained ankle. In which case I'm sure some kind of strange "mother lifts a baby off a piano out of whacko love" muscles would kick in.  Regardless! The takeaway is, not going full The Secret here, but if you decide to do the things that are totally within your arm's reach to do, you will be successful in some capacity. Maybe the success won't look exactly like you had planned it, but the Mental Game is the first step to making the playoffs.

Would lift the Golden Gate Bridge for this missy.

Before You Do Anything

Still thinking about my favorite couple. Two weeks ago.

Ask:

1. What am I going to give?
2. What can I learn?
3. How can I collaborate?
4. What's important here?
5. Do I have any reason to be worried or scared? (No.)
6. Am I listening?

No Surprises Here

The bathroom set-up on this hall of the house is atrocious. There are separate rooms for toilets and sinks, heavy doors, tight little locker bays... it's stupid. Frankly. There are also the weird showers. There is one with a bath. I prefer stall showers, so I use the other. Here's what's weird about this shower: there are two curtains. One curtain hangs in front of the stall and then you step in and there is a hook and then next to you in the actual shower stall with a curtain hanging there.

Now. Most girls like the bigger shower. I don't know why i prefer the smaller one. Consequently, I have never seen or heard anyone use my shower. But, someone must be using it because every time I go to wash the first curtain in open and the second is closed.

Maybe this doesn't seem like a big deal to you, but think about it. That means you get out of the shower. Stand wrapping your towel, and close the curtain behind you before leaving the second curtain and leaving it wide open. Naturally, I always fear there is a dead body in the shower stall. Why else would someone hide its contents?

So every time I give myself a little pep talk about how dead bodies aren't so scary really, and there will be one, so I shouldn't be worried when I see it. I inch closer. Closer. Closer. Until I give a 1,2,3 and yank the curtain aside exposing--
nothing of course. But, I still go through the whole ordeal every time.

I wonder if it would really work. If I would be so ready to see a cadaver that it would just be a dream come true, or if no matter what, when met with a corpse, I would let out a blood-curdling shriek.