I Act Like It's My Birthday, Everyday

Another year around the sun, another bunch of songs that propelled the turn! It's mostly Taylor Swift and I don't want to hear about it! She released four albums this year!

Hits Different by Taylor Swift -- marching around the picket line

Miss Americana and the Heartbreak Prince by Taylor Swift -- jamming on the way to the studio

You're Losing Me by Taylor Swift -- listening, obsessively, on repeat at the coffee shop as I journal

Happier Than Ever covered by Kelly Clarkson -- walking into open gym

Cruel Summer Live by Taylor Swift -- hitting the nostalgic rush

22 by Taylor Swift -- a highlight of Eras, and watching Eras TikToks

Our Song by Taylor Swift -- an ultimate manifestation

Exile by Taylor Swift -- incredible live!

Weeds by Beach Bunny -- the hottest concert ever

all-american bitch by Olivia Rodrigo -- shower singing (screaming)

Entropy by Beach Bunny -- the first play workshop!

The Archer by Taylor Swift -- believing in my play

Bitch by Meredith Brooks -- pre-show, waking across the stage, telling the sm it's go time

mad woman by Taylor Swift -- dealing with work drama!

Bed Case by Tancred -- time travel to a different Alice

Halloween by Novo Amor -- fall, even in California, arrives

King of My Heart by Taylor Swift -- fall has nighttimes too

Say Don't Go -- trotting around Japan!

making the bed by Olivia Rodrigo -- hm thoughts, hm questions

Supermoon by Charly Bliss -- pining for another Alice

Christmas Dream by Perry Como -- Christmas in the midwest

New Years Day by Taylor Swift -- hopeful new chapter

Anti-Hero by Taylor Swift -- did a Youtube dance workout one million times to this song

brutal by Olivia Rodrigo -- jumping in concert with my sister!

mirrorball by Taylor Swift -- inspo for the novella

Pink Pony Club by Chappell Roan -- ending the grey spring, emerging into summer

I Can Do It With a Broken Heart by Taylor Swift -- nighttime neighborhood stomps!

But Daddy I Love Him by Taylor Swift -- number one bridge to yell in the car

The Black Dog by Taylor Swift -- on the balcony, thinking

Part of Your World from The Little Mermaid -- Friday night karaoke in Silverlake

Windows Open

What if I kept the windows open? What a terrifying venture, for someone like me. Some artists always have their windows open. Their windows are open all year, even. Like, it's winter, and probably time to nestle in, but there they sleep, snow falling onto their pillow. Or it's summer. Time to close up and run through the yellow fields! But, still, some will stay by the window. Anything could come through, they yearn.

I don't have faith, I've learned. I assume no one is coming and no one is listening and no one cares. I delight to be proven wrong and suffer shame when I've shut and locked too soon. Rather, on time. A friend arrives, after all, taps on the pane. It's too late though. It's never a punishment. It's my little log cabin. The only one I have. With my candles and nightgowns and quills and view of the frozen river. Everyone is invited, but not everyone can make it.

I was never good at sports / save the games for the girls on the tennis court

Duck Bill

At the coffee shop. Puhg just left. He laughed as he went. I was chattering on and on about something, god knows what to be honest. Sometimes I can’t stop. I wish I could, but on these mornings, before 9 AM, I’m blooming with so many thoughts, grandstanding about art and capitalism and theorizing about myself and everyone we know. I started laughing too and we just nodded at each other. As he stood, he kissed my head and reassured me, “There’s nothing wrong with you.”

I chuckled nervously because what kind of person must be reassured nothing is wrong with them, besides a person who is assuredly defective? Puhg shrugged, perhaps reading my mind, “You look at a platypus, and think it’s pretty weird, but you don’t think something is wrong with it.”

ihih

 I hate it here so I will go to

secret gardens in my mind

People need a key to get to

the only one is mine

I read about it in a book when I was a precocious child

No mid-sized city hopes and small town fears

I'm there most of the year

Cause I hate it here

I hate it here