Paper Towels

The other day I was using the library bathroom at a busy time, and I noticed how many paper towels were used by women around me in a matter of, like, thirty seconds. Really? Five cranks on the handle? REALLY?!

I do not use paper towels to dry my hands. I have two portable drying devices called my outfit and the air. I wanted to scream in the middle of the tiny tiled room. I know it's "just" paper towel, but do you realize you probably use one of those whole rolls for yourself in various bathrooms around the world in, like, a month? And why? So your hands can be dry? A. Like I said, there are other ways to dry and B. WHO PROMISED YOU DRY HANDS WHEN YOU WERE BORN?!

I was thinking about this today when I had ten minutes to spare before class, so I tried an experiment. I stood in the library women's bathroom, and I spoke to each girl as she washed her hands.

"Hello. My name is Alice. I'm here to ask you to please try not using paper towel to dry your hands. If you could try patting or shaking this one time, you might realize you don't need paper towels at all. It's pretty wasteful to throw away so much paper."

In that ten minutes I encountered five women.

#1 looked frightened, but nodded--half annoyed/half scared I was a legit crazy person. She left shaking her hands feebly.
#2 agreed, said, "I guess I don't think about it." But then she shook her hands a couple times over the sink, looked down and said, "I don't want to use my clothes." I commented on how durable her jeans were, and how it was just water. She nodded, thanked me, and took two cranks of paper towel.
#3 I think overheard my conversation with #2. She did not look at me when she came out of the stall. She went right to the towel dispenser, cranked down, blew her nose in it, and she did not wash her hands. I really didn't know what to do.
#4 Used the sink and towels in the handicap stall. RATS.
#5 Just blandly listened, nodded, asked me if I would be doing this every day (maybe so she could remember never to use this bathroom again), and left.

I expected better results. I think I will try this again. Disappointed in humanity.

Horrible Notes in My Theatre History Notebook

Marg. Two weeks ago.

One thing about me is that I write a lot. I write in this blog daily. I write in a gratitude journal every morning, a normal journal at night. I write academic papers. I write full-length plays for seminar. I write at least one new sketch every week. I write essays for an online journal somewhat frequently. I am working on several short stories, little scenelets, I write a very long e-mail to Muff every Tuesday, and short e-mails to my sister every evening. I write stand-up in my head, I write long feedback to my students on the back of their screenplays, I write letters to Sabra hummus and they send me coupons for being a grateful consumer. The writing never ends--even when I'm just listening in class--ESPECIALLY when I'm just listening in class.

Being a comedian, it's not weird for me to put my hands in the pouch of my navy hoody and find a yellow post-it that reads, "Ain't no party like the Donner party." Some joke I felt I NEEDED to remember. (This happened to me today.)

I recently flipped through my semester's notes for Theatre History and found some horrible/weird/wonderful stuff. Here are some snippets:

-It's weird Chinese people work so hard when they don't even have a God to please.
-Whatever happened to survival of the fittest? If you've got a peanut allergy, shouldn't you just die?
-Why do I love the Luhrman R + J so freaking much?
-"It's amazing, and then we write it down, and it's in a book, and it becomes a quiz question: 'what is epic theatre?'"--Prof
-Who decides what is "dominant?"
-Is travel even real?!
-I think you need to understand you only know what's in your head, but that's all anyone knows, so you're entitled to your opinions, as long as you know it's only that.
-Always ask, "Says who?"

Legit. I thought all of these ideas were so important I HAD TO write them down.

Straight up, what did you hope to learn about here?
If I was someone else would this all fall apart?

Denver Wedding

Murried.

Berger and I finished Adventureland last night
right before it was bedtime. Early bedtime. He had to drive me to the airport at 5 AM today.
I tied my shoes silently in the foyer.
"I made you breakfast," he said, handing me a granola bar and my soup dish of two cupcakes:
cranberry almond and orange chocolate chip mocha.

They were the wedding cake. I gave them as an offering to Chelle when she picked me up from the airport back in sunny AZ.
Oh,
I missed sunny AZ
when the entire 94 guests shuffled outside the mansion
to take a friendly group photo.
"Here's who's here to celebrate this lovely thing!"
we waved up at the camera.

KWall suggested Adventureland to me a few months ago.
Finally, the first day of her honeymoon, I watched it.
I loved it a lot.
I loved the love.
I loved the love all weekend.

I gave the readings for the special day, a mid-morning ceremony.
I read in a dress patterned with greyhound-shaped zebras.
A caterer asked if I made it.
Hmm. Don't think that's a compliment. When the caterer asks if you made your formal outfit.


Kath--the best Thanksgiving guest.

"I really loved it," I told Berger. I folded the blanket and patted it onto his sofa.
"Do you feel like you changed?" he asked, which is a good post-film question.
"Yes. I feel like you should do things that are good for you, and that you should be happy."

My friend KWall has a new name. My first memory of our friendship was a decade ago on a beach walk. We talked about the TV show Blossom. She was dating her college sweetheart back then. She broke his heart.
Games, games, games.

Veggie Turkey Day Announcements

THIS WAS ALL VEGAN, AND I CHOMPED IT ALL, AND IT WAS DA BEST!

1. Public Service Announcement Fact O' the Day: Any turkey you eat in the US (unless you bought from a local farm) A. never walked B. was artificially created--turkeys on factory farms have been inbred and drugged up so much that they are genetically too sick to mate.

2. Vegan "Thanksliving" was SUPER DELICIOUS. And, it made me remember that while sometimes I feel like an annoying nutjob veggie, I come nowhere CLOSE to some meat crusaders. Examples: the family that dressed their four little kids in shirts depicting a cartoon turkey that said, "Why must I die for you to give thanks?" and the vegan speaker who at one point yelled, "WHEN YOU EAT MEAT, YOU'RE EATING MISERY." So, be grateful I'm not those people.

3. My favorite newish tradition about Thanksgiving is texting. I know that's lame, but honestly, I think it's the day I text the most people in my life, and I feel super grateful to have more people than I can count on both hands who I love, who love me, and who would literally jump a plane now to be here if I asked them to. When I speak to them all in one day I can't believe it. How did I get so lucky?

Special TDay Lovin: Chelle, Henne, Clara, Muff, George, Jamin, Bo, SVC, Kath, KWall--and that doesn't even include my family, and that's just a partial list!


TDay is also a good day to text people you love, but aren't super present in your life--like these beautiful roommates I had one time!

Gobble

Me last Thanksgiving post-turkey trot run.


This is my second Thanksgiving of my whole life I am spending without any family! The first I was with Kay's fam, and I saw mine the very next day, so, it wasn't like a big to-do.

This picture reminds me a of a very good day. A cold rainy morning run, a fabulous brunch, plenty of lounging. Interestingly enough, I got my first correspondence from Ermo about the graduate program here on Thanksgiving 2010. And now? Tonight I had dinner with Ermo before attending a new play.

The photo above was taken on a good day, but right in that moment I was rather tired, sweaty, even slightly ill at ease. I feel that way now--I have a good life, but today, oh, today, I am tired, have worked hard towards what, I'm not sure, and I am ill at ease.

Tomorrow I will be attending a vegan brunch and Kath will be flying in before I head to a KWall's wedding. Lots to look forward to, but tonight...oh, tonight.

God bless the moon, and God bless me. God bless the somebody I'd like to see.

Utopia

Heidelberg. June 2011.

Today in Dramaturgy the question was "Is there such a thing as universality?" in reference to Robert LePage's attempt to portray it in his works. Rye LIT UP because Rye LOVES universality. Rye believes in golden goodness and a blanket of gooey love that we swim in. I'm kind of with Rye. But I'm also kind of with Blue Eyes who countered, "We have no idea what anyone else's experience is like. And it's the utopian idea that we can all get along that ruins our universe."

"Utopia" sounds so nice, but it's not. It gets us into mud. COMMUNIST RUSSIA: EVER HEARD OF IT?

Yesterday I was reading about the Playboy Riots in Ireland in the midst of The Troubles--early 1900s. It hit me harder than a potato to the noggin': we don't have issues in our societies and cultures because we are different. We have issues in our societies and cultures because we are different, but we try to be the same. It's easy to see someone different than you and be happy, be cool, but it's when we want that person to be more like us for some reason or another, or they want us to be more like them, that the troubles (pun unintended) arise.

I mean, there's no way to completely end assimilation. Just interacting with people will automatically call for compromises, and, thus, the desire to change others, but...I think it's important to avoid the attempt at sameness as much as we can--for the sake of the world and ourselves.

Falling Asleep Last Night

Step right up, step right up, engage in the most beautiful thing in the world, ladies and gentlemen!

Win big prizes! The biggest prize of all! Step right up to the realization that everything is big, and that includes you, and the weekend is a blur of writing in your bed and watching Rain Man in segments, and celebrating the upcoming holiday with friends, one of whom made pumpkin cupcakes and gave you the leftovers. "Danksgiving?" you asked after getting the text. And the guy laughed, "Getting dank is getting high, so, hence..." Oh. You thought, and you drove the van of drunkies home. One said he was depressed he was almost done watching Fraiser. You get that. You finished your play revisions, and you're not proud of them, but they're done, and a girl you do sketch comedy with said, "We got you a present" and it was a t-shirt of Hello Kitty sleeping on a cheeseburger that reads "FOOD COMA." When you first walked in, the host said, "There's only one dish with meat in it! There's ham, but that's it." You thanked him for informing you before even saying hello. You went to a Metallica version of The Misanthrope Saturday and sat in the nearly-empty balcony, and at intermission you turned around to see an improv teammate sitting behind you. Surprise! You say. We're both here on a Saturday night. Alone. You wore shorts because it was 70 all day--cooler at night, but a pleasant bike in your navy speech and debate hoodie.

Step right up because you're doing your best, and what's the worst that could happen? You don't create anything good in three years? You'll still get a good degree. You'll lose scholarships? If you can't pay, you can leave, and you'll be happy because everything is big.

Win big prizes.