Paper Towels

The other day I was using the library bathroom at a busy time, and I noticed how many paper towels were used by women around me in a matter of, like, thirty seconds. Really? Five cranks on the handle? REALLY?!

I do not use paper towels to dry my hands. I have two portable drying devices called my outfit and the air. I wanted to scream in the middle of the tiny tiled room. I know it's "just" paper towel, but do you realize you probably use one of those whole rolls for yourself in various bathrooms around the world in, like, a month? And why? So your hands can be dry? A. Like I said, there are other ways to dry and B. WHO PROMISED YOU DRY HANDS WHEN YOU WERE BORN?!

I was thinking about this today when I had ten minutes to spare before class, so I tried an experiment. I stood in the library women's bathroom, and I spoke to each girl as she washed her hands.

"Hello. My name is Alice. I'm here to ask you to please try not using paper towel to dry your hands. If you could try patting or shaking this one time, you might realize you don't need paper towels at all. It's pretty wasteful to throw away so much paper."

In that ten minutes I encountered five women.

#1 looked frightened, but nodded--half annoyed/half scared I was a legit crazy person. She left shaking her hands feebly.
#2 agreed, said, "I guess I don't think about it." But then she shook her hands a couple times over the sink, looked down and said, "I don't want to use my clothes." I commented on how durable her jeans were, and how it was just water. She nodded, thanked me, and took two cranks of paper towel.
#3 I think overheard my conversation with #2. She did not look at me when she came out of the stall. She went right to the towel dispenser, cranked down, blew her nose in it, and she did not wash her hands. I really didn't know what to do.
#4 Used the sink and towels in the handicap stall. RATS.
#5 Just blandly listened, nodded, asked me if I would be doing this every day (maybe so she could remember never to use this bathroom again), and left.

I expected better results. I think I will try this again. Disappointed in humanity.

Job Hunt

I will be a TA this fall, but I'm looking for just a bit more income. I have applied a couple places, but I was so SO excited about the job interview I had today.

DUSTY: so what are you doing in your free time these days, anyway?
ME: Right now I'm making a resume for an interview I have today. It's impossible.
ME: I am MADE for this job.
ME: I can't fit all of the reasons on one page.
DUSTY: haha
DUSTY: there's worse problems to have, Alice.
DUSTY: What's this job, anyway?
DUSTY: "Buffet reviewer"?
ME: Omg.
ME: How could I even begin to prepare for that interview?
ME: Hahahaha you've got my number, Mr.
ME: No--working at a human right capaign trying to convince people that gay people should have equal workplace rights.
DUSTY: ...ok, that sounds like a close second place

INSERT BACKSTORY: While we were making fun of this one guy from improv CONSTANTLY saying "Boom. Done," Dusty once said to me, "You know, if YOU had a catchphrase, it would be, 'Um. I actually have a really strong opinion about this.'" Which is both sad and hilarious because it is totally true. The things I have really strong opinions about range from paper towel to Facebook. And, lest we forget MEANWHILE, THERE IS A MEAT INDUSTRY! Continuing on...

ME: Can I just get "I actually have a really strong opinion about this" tatooed on my face?
DUSTY: HAHA
DUSTY: maybe a palm...that can be your thing, you can bring back the "talk to the hand" gesture
"So, I was thinking cows are too dumb to live, and we should really not feel bad for eating them--"

hand.

I think he's on to something.

Coffee with Dusty. April 2011.

But, so here's the sad end of the story: I had an awesome interview and got the job, but my class schedule conflicted with the hours I would have to work. Biggest bummer of all time.