Scared of Heights

"My stomach," Muffy said.
I felt my eyes pushing forward out of my skull.
The canyon was bigger than I expected.
The height.
My stomach lurched a little too.
Er--not my stomach. My...
lungs. Yes, the air--
yes, something about it.
Uh, er, there were--
too--
many feelings.

I felt more than I expected.
This is a place my father was when he was a boy.
This is a place that is one of seven.
This is a place I have now been with my college roommate,
my best friend, my Canyon Sister.
That is what we kept yelling in the car
that we drove
for hours
without any music
because we were talking
so much.
Bigger than I expected.

But everything looks perfect from far away.

Come down now, but we'll stay.

Mems, Cremes, Neve

Memory:


A photo I took of me and Yatchface the first day we were friends. "Look," we said. "Look at the way we sat. Our knees are friends." And then that night we went out for sushi together. Fall 2008.

My mom and aunt are here visiting. I had trouble climbing the stairs to my bedroom just now because my stomach is crushing my lungs. Boop.

Cupcakes I Ate Tonight:
-chocolate marshmallow
-birthday cake
-red velvet with icing
-red velvet with cream cheese
-salted caramel
-peanut butter chocolate

Random Fact:
Collective Soul came up on my iPod today, and my window is open--it's fall--but a California fall in a college town, and I hear party kids being rowdy outside...it makes me feel like I'm in Scream.