I Basically Sold My Soul for These Cookies

The way I hone in on cookies that interest me is the dessert equivalent of a tracker jacker. And, y'all KNOW how I lose my GD mind for pumpkin anything. So, you can imagine that when P-San tagged me in a photo of these on Instagram last Thursday night...

...I practically bashed my head into the ceiling fan with excitement.

I had to sleep, but I had plans. Oh, did I have plans. Friday afternoon as soon as I was out of class, I was on the phone.
I called the local grocery store. Had them check. Nope.
Called another grocery. No dice.
Target? Nada. Next Target? Uh uh.
Keep in mind these aren't quick calls. No one just KNOWS if they carry a seasonal cookie, you know? there's a lot of, "Huh...what kind? Uh...okay...let me call over...okay, let me go look....cheese what?" Lots of phone being put on counter, a panting person responds, "No, ma'am."
So. Then. I call them.
That devil I boycott.
I dial Walmart.
This is the most frustrating call because 1) I am imagining my spirit being sucked out of the receiver and emptied into some jar on a clearance shelf and 2) somehow the person I first talk to has never heard of "Pepperidge Farm" and walks to the bakery, comes back and says, "They don't make pepper cheese cookies." I explain they're on the shelf. I get transferred somewhere. I say cookie, and they transfer me to the bakery. The bakery is confused. I say, transfer me back. The person walks to the aisle. They come back with an answer: Yes. Yes we have the cookies.

This morning, it happened.

Breakfast of champions.

It went something like this:

 And finished off with almond milk in the mug I got my last day in Chicago this summer.

Cookie Review: "A" & worth soul-selling.