In high school, this guy gave me this compliment:
"Alice, you are a bag of talent."
One of the best, least-attractive, weird compliments ever, right? And he went on to explain he meant he just didn't get how I could be so diverse in my characters (from crippled sad sack to glamourous movie star--Glass Menagerie to Singin' in the Rain). And I went on to explain to him, "They're all me." There's only been one time where I honestly felt very different from the character I was playing. And that's when I was Mama in Chicago. When I was 15. And had braces.
Other than that one train wreck, I have felt close to the rest of my imagined gang. The fizzle of Lina, the sincerity of Laura, the dependency of Rosemary, the awkwardness of Ruth. But, here's the prob, Bob: I really do become them subconsciously. And, I know this is very bad for a person. Stanislavsky may disagree, but Chekhov would tsk tsk.
Lina made me cliquey.
Laura depressed me.
Rosemary made me hate men.
Ruth made me ugly.
It CAN work to a person's advantage. Being Dorothy in The Wiz filled me with wonder day in and out! But, such an effect is rare.
Marcy is making me incredibly bratty. ESPECIALLY during rehearsals. I have never been so annoyed getting notes as I am mid-Marcy. Dear LORD. I feel my eyes rolling and think, "STOP THAT." But, it's too late. The obnoxious middle-schooler in me is already out.
This is a habit I am trying to change thanks to the Chekhov seminar I am auditing. I will let you know how it goes. Because I am just waiting for the day I get cast as a serial killer, and suddenly, all of my friends with dogs are in for a horrifying surprise.
Thursday, April 7, 2011
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
Something Is Not the Same
When I was 18 I performed in the Edinburgh Fringe Festival.
Before the festival, my cast did some Shakespeare classes at the Globe.
One day after class we went shopping.
I was being a cheapskate in preparation for college.
I only looked at sale racks.
Everything was still too expensive.
Then, in one boutique, I found one solitary pair of jeans for just five pounds!
By a stoke of magic luck, they fit!
I loved the heck out of my London jeans.
Until I gained the freshman thirty.
Boop.
I got rid of my little girl clothes as my hips rolled out and my shoulders pulled up.
I put the jeans in storage.
Training for the marathon transformed my body like college did.
I don't look like I'm 18, but somehow the jeans fit again.
A little snugger, a little shapelier.
I also have a pair of green tennies from 2004.
My sister wants me to throw them away. Holes.
I wore them yesterday because it was one of those holes-in-your-shoes days.
I looked down at my ankles at the end of my acting seminar class.
The professor was my professor in Acting I.
The first class I took in college.
The green toes, the London hem.
From the knees down, I was a freshman again.
We're freshmen at life, my friends joke
and my clothes agree.
London jeans! In Scotland! When they were new!
It's time to trust my instincts, close my eyes, and leap.
Before the festival, my cast did some Shakespeare classes at the Globe.
One day after class we went shopping.
I was being a cheapskate in preparation for college.
I only looked at sale racks.
Everything was still too expensive.
Then, in one boutique, I found one solitary pair of jeans for just five pounds!
By a stoke of magic luck, they fit!
I loved the heck out of my London jeans.
Until I gained the freshman thirty.
Boop.
I got rid of my little girl clothes as my hips rolled out and my shoulders pulled up.
I put the jeans in storage.
Training for the marathon transformed my body like college did.
I don't look like I'm 18, but somehow the jeans fit again.
A little snugger, a little shapelier.
I also have a pair of green tennies from 2004.
My sister wants me to throw them away. Holes.
I wore them yesterday because it was one of those holes-in-your-shoes days.
I looked down at my ankles at the end of my acting seminar class.
The professor was my professor in Acting I.
The first class I took in college.
The green toes, the London hem.
From the knees down, I was a freshman again.
We're freshmen at life, my friends joke
and my clothes agree.
London jeans! In Scotland! When they were new!
It's time to trust my instincts, close my eyes, and leap.
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
In Honor of Yatchface
Yatchface trying to stop the fan in our room with her hands. Spring 2010. I can't believe it's been a year.
After a day of walking all over Japan.
YF: UGH. I just wish someone would cut off my feet and replace them with rollerskates!
Me: No you don't.
YF: YEAH!
Me: So if a doctor was just, like, right behind that sign over there and said he would do the surgery for free right now, you would really do that?
YF: No. But, I mean, yeah.
It's an alphabetter way to spell.
Monday, April 4, 2011
I Love You, Aimee Mann
There comes a time when you swim or sink,
so I jumped in the drink
'cause I couldn't make myself clear.
Maybe I wrote in invisible ink.
Oh, I've tried to think--
how I could have made it appear?
But another illustration is wasted
'cause the results are the same.
I feel like a ghost who's trying to move your hands
over some Ouija board in the hopes I can spell out my name.
What some take for magic at first glance
is just sleight of hand, depending on what you believe.
Something gets lost when you translate.
It's hard to keep straight--
perspective is everything.
And I know now which is which and what angle I oughta look at it from.
I suppose I should be happy to be misread-
better be that than some of the other things I have become.
But nobody wants to hear this tale.
The plot is cliched, the jokes are stale.
And baby we've all heard it all before.
Oh, I could get specific but
nobody needs a catalog
with details of love I can't sell anymore.
And aside from that, this chain of reaction,
baby, is losing a link.
Though I'd hope you'd know what I tried to tell you,
and if you don't, I could draw you a picture in invisible ink.
But nobody wants to hear this tale.
The plot is cliched, the jokes are stale.
And baby we've all heard it all before.
Oh, I could get specific, but
nobody needs a catalog
with details of love I can't sell anymore.
Pre-marathon brunch. A beautiful day in Wilmington with Nac.
so I jumped in the drink
'cause I couldn't make myself clear.
Maybe I wrote in invisible ink.
Oh, I've tried to think--
how I could have made it appear?
But another illustration is wasted
'cause the results are the same.
I feel like a ghost who's trying to move your hands
over some Ouija board in the hopes I can spell out my name.
What some take for magic at first glance
is just sleight of hand, depending on what you believe.
Something gets lost when you translate.
It's hard to keep straight--
perspective is everything.
And I know now which is which and what angle I oughta look at it from.
I suppose I should be happy to be misread-
better be that than some of the other things I have become.
But nobody wants to hear this tale.
The plot is cliched, the jokes are stale.
And baby we've all heard it all before.
Oh, I could get specific but
nobody needs a catalog
with details of love I can't sell anymore.
And aside from that, this chain of reaction,
baby, is losing a link.
Though I'd hope you'd know what I tried to tell you,
and if you don't, I could draw you a picture in invisible ink.
But nobody wants to hear this tale.
The plot is cliched, the jokes are stale.
And baby we've all heard it all before.
Oh, I could get specific, but
nobody needs a catalog
with details of love I can't sell anymore.
Pre-marathon brunch. A beautiful day in Wilmington with Nac.
Sunday, April 3, 2011
Not Watching Spring Break!
1. At the gym, turn on MTV.
2. See that it's MTV's Spring Break.
3. Wonder what the point of MTV's televised Spring Break is. Kids that are doing it are there--having fun. Kids that aren't are watching and feeling lame about their lives.
4. Wonder if the majority of kids currently on MTV's Spring Break spent a Spring Break watching MTV's Spring Break, feeling like a loser middle schooler/ high schooler, and promising to one day BE on MTV's Spring Break.
5. Therefore, by broadcasting what a "cool" Spring Break is, MTV has defined it for hella peeps and perpetuated it through peer pressure via programming.
6. Realize a sad cycle for our youth.
7. Decide to watch MTV's Spring Break to see how lame it is.
8. Change my mind!
9. Decide not to even give MTV's Spring Break that satisfaction!!!!!
10. Listen to "Put on a Happy Face" from Bye Bye Birdie!
My Spring Break partners in crime. Photo post-Robin Hood. May 2010.
And spread sunshine all over the place. Just put on a happy face.
2. See that it's MTV's Spring Break.
3. Wonder what the point of MTV's televised Spring Break is. Kids that are doing it are there--having fun. Kids that aren't are watching and feeling lame about their lives.
4. Wonder if the majority of kids currently on MTV's Spring Break spent a Spring Break watching MTV's Spring Break, feeling like a loser middle schooler/ high schooler, and promising to one day BE on MTV's Spring Break.
5. Therefore, by broadcasting what a "cool" Spring Break is, MTV has defined it for hella peeps and perpetuated it through peer pressure via programming.
6. Realize a sad cycle for our youth.
7. Decide to watch MTV's Spring Break to see how lame it is.
8. Change my mind!
9. Decide not to even give MTV's Spring Break that satisfaction!!!!!
10. Listen to "Put on a Happy Face" from Bye Bye Birdie!
My Spring Break partners in crime. Photo post-Robin Hood. May 2010.
And spread sunshine all over the place. Just put on a happy face.
Saturday, April 2, 2011
Squeak
I went to a local play reading and talkback session this afternoon. Rex sat next to me in the squeakiest seat in the theatre, which set me into fits of giggle while he was trying to participate in the talkback. Finally he announced to the playwright, "I'm sorry. I like, breathe, and it squeaks."
Me and Rex, Halloween 2009
And then I was like, "Rex! OMG! This is my life for the next three years! Watching and evaluating and writing plays!"
And he was like, "OMG I AM JEALS!"
And I was like, "Eeee!"
And my joy sounded like his seat.
Shake down, you make me break.
For goodness sake, I think I'm on the edge of something new with you.
Me and Rex, Halloween 2009
And then I was like, "Rex! OMG! This is my life for the next three years! Watching and evaluating and writing plays!"
And he was like, "OMG I AM JEALS!"
And I was like, "Eeee!"
And my joy sounded like his seat.
Shake down, you make me break.
For goodness sake, I think I'm on the edge of something new with you.
Friday, April 1, 2011
Vegan April Starts Today
The morning before I left North Carolina, Nac and I went running and then had a big brunch. We feasted on everything in the kitchen. Almond buttered toast, pineapple, Nesquik? Yes, please. When he pulled out the deviled eggs, I laughed and laughed and laughed:
This image struck me as so incredibly funny. He kept asking, "Why is it so funny?" and I couldn't even completely say. But, it is funny, right? Like, the whole point of deviled eggs are having the squishy yellow part staring at you all cutely, and this one half just didn't get the memo. Splat.
And people screamin' what's the deal with you and so-and-so?
I tell 'em _______, mind their business.
They don't hear me though.
But I live my life to the limit and I love it.
Now I can breathe again, baby, now I can breathe again.
This image struck me as so incredibly funny. He kept asking, "Why is it so funny?" and I couldn't even completely say. But, it is funny, right? Like, the whole point of deviled eggs are having the squishy yellow part staring at you all cutely, and this one half just didn't get the memo. Splat.
And people screamin' what's the deal with you and so-and-so?
I tell 'em _______, mind their business.
They don't hear me though.
But I live my life to the limit and I love it.
Now I can breathe again, baby, now I can breathe again.
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