Windows Open

What if I kept the windows open? What a terrifying venture, for someone like me. Some artists always have their windows open. Their windows are open all year, even. Like, it's winter, and probably time to nestle in, but there they sleep, snow falling onto their pillow. Or it's summer. Time to close up and run through the yellow fields! But, still, some will stay by the window. Anything could come through, they yearn.

I don't have faith, I've learned. I assume no one is coming and no one is listening and no one cares. I delight to be proven wrong and suffer shame when I've shut and locked too soon. Rather, on time. A friend arrives, after all, taps on the pane. It's too late though. It's never a punishment. It's my little log cabin. The only one I have. With my candles and nightgowns and quills and view of the frozen river. Everyone is invited, but not everyone can make it.

I was never good at sports / save the games for the girls on the tennis court

Open Sesame

Most of us have had the thought, "That person is pathetic." I'm not proud of when I've felt that way, but it's cautionary. If we're using Inside Out as a framework for emotions, judging another person is Disgust protecting us from being so aloof, broken, disillusioned. I never pity others because I don't like them. I do it because I want to tell myself to avoid their fate. But what's so weird is the more I pity others, the more I feel pitiful. Base logic tells me if I am putting myself a step ahead of someone I don't want to switch places with I should feel confident. But that tactic is just so blatantly corrupt. Instead when we set ourselves on ledges, we succumb to the concept that there are ledges. And if we're in that mental playground, we then must recognize everyone on ledges higher than us. Life is not a ladder. Life is not a track. Life is not even a hamster wheel.

To feel less judged, stop judging. To feel less alone, be loving. To follow your dreams, believe fiercely in others'. At first it doesn't seem to make sense. If I want apples, why would I give people apples? My apples. Well, I guess because then more apples would be out there, seeds dropping into soil, accidentally planted. The love for and thus demand for apples would be higher. Hand pies and slices by the wheelbarrow.