News for Yous

Veg corn dog. Provided by Muff & Jamba.

-Being a vegan this month.
-I want a white Patagonia fleece. I don't want things often, but I have it saved as a favorite on my iPad. Give me that fleece. There's something about it. Something about a glorified $120 sweater that I KNOW I will ruin within five minutes of owning it by leaving a Snickers in the pocket on a sunny day or something.
-Free things today: going to a free recital for Ru tonight, a free quinoa dumpling for lunch, standing in the sun outside of class with Boulder and Rye--chatting, laughing. All FREE. Also free--all the baked goods set on pretty tables on the balcony of the music building post-recital. But guess who didn't eat any in order to be ethical? THIS GIRL. Pats on backs.

Everybody wants to live
how they want to live,
and everybody wants to love
who they want to love,
and everybody wants to be
closer to free.

Stress Bakin' (Not to Be Confused with "Stress Bacon"--Which You Could Say Is All Bacon, Since Pigs Are Smart and Aware They Are about to Be Cut Open)

Pumpkin cupcake. Strawberry cupcake. October 2011.

There's basically nothing in the world I want to do less than work on my new play. Also, the proportion of desserts I crave DIRECTLY relates to the amount of work I don't want to do. What's that? I have to rewrite my entire play? Oh, but I also want to eat cookie dough and watch Woody Allen's Interiors? Well, I mean, I can't malnourish myself! Come on, people! Cut to the tub of cookie dough empty on the floor next to my bed, where I am curled up into a ball after watching Diane Keaton's mother drown. TGIF!

Do you know girls (let's get gender specific, because I've never known a man with this habit) who show up to class or work or meetings during crunch times with cupcakes and act all frazzled and say, "Oh, I was just so stressed, I baked all this!" and everyone makes jokes like, "Gosh, Cherryl, you should be stressed more often! I mean, amirite?!" I don't buy it, Cherryl. I don't buy even one of your alleged stress-baked brownies. ZERO PURCHASING OF YOUR FALSE STRESS CONFECTION.

Because I get stressed and bake too...but I would never bring stress cake to class, BECAUSE I EAT IT ALL. That's the point. Here's my theory: Cherryl, you want to appear likable, so you baked for your peers, and you don't want to appear like you want to appear likable, so you go with this flimsy thing women have been tossing around for years about stress sugar.

I actually have a really strong opinion about this:
I don't ever care what someone's true or false motivations for giving me free treats is. Feminine implications, obesity in America, the overdramatic attitudes of students in today's world? Important ideas to consider. But, more importantly, did someone just show up and give me a 7-layer bar for no reason?! Keep on bakin', girlfrans.

Sugar, she's so fine. For a small price she blows my mind.

Falling Into My Lap

Our kitchen--observe the evidence of Boy Roomie's homemade ale brewing on the stove and counter and sink. Notice the covered banana bread.

Today things fell into my lap. I think it's karma from a donation I made to a Save the Arizona National Parks campaign against my better judgement this morning. I was walking just off campus when I got stopped by a volunteer, and one thing led to another, and suddenly I was dishing out fifteen bucks to save beautiful places I may never visit.

I felt guilt tumbling in my stomach--silly donation or right choice? Then, as if on cue, a girl offered me a free chocolate cookie outside an ice cream sandwich shop. Free Thing #1! Then--

2. An advertising exec stopped me and asked if I would answer some questions about hockey for a short video. Apparently, a big name hockey star interviewed me, and I gave really stupid answers to all his questions (I think the ad was about how little people know about hockey in AZ). Anyway, they liked my footage so much, they gave me six free tickets to a game. Swanky lookin' seats too.
3. A beautiful, dark, and cool September night for bikin'.
4. Upon arriving home, I was completely enveloped in cinnamon. Girl roomie had her beuff over, and they had just pulled banana bread out of the oven. Who do you think got the first slice? Moi. We unwound to MTV, and I was just about to hit the hay when the other four ladies of my sketch comedy group called me up.
5. Cut to a certified girls night complete with Mean Girls playing in the background as we talked about boys.
6. Chelle baked those Pillsbury sugar cookies with pictures on them--back to school variety. Which I ate.
7. Kale works at Starbucks and, thus, had a huge bag of leftover scones, muffins, danish, oh my! Which I ate.
8. Arriving home in the wee hours of morning, I said, "Thanks, moon," because she was so big and so bright.

NOTE: I wrote this last night, but decided not to post it as I was falling asleep at the keyboard. Good call, Alice--it was littered with little sidebars like, "but idont needany" and "dad foam theeeeeee."

Everything's beautiful,
everything's a holiday,
the day you live without it.