company flat

The company flat was a special haven. A college dorm hall of our own. AZ at the front, gatekeeper for all logistics, like the hot water busting night one. Next me, so I could chipmunk over, any time day or night, asking about props or maybe spare tickets for a survivor, or possibly to gripe, or possibly to gossip. I'd never have guessed she was a little party animal, but that's the job. It was somewhat common, that I'd be in my room, coming down from a show or a night with the comedians or skittering about, eating my clamshell of fries and slurping water from my glass with croissants on it. And sometime between 2 and 3 AZ would sneak in, wined out. I'd lure her in, have her recount the evening's mischief.

Some mornings I'd be at the cafe with an iced latte and shortbread, writing at the window. Other mornings I'd pajama into the kitchen around 9:30, when RB usually started her tea. I'd cook up two eggs, drink a fizzing vitamin C capsule. RB would yap about whatever was on her mind, the boy in another show or her friends from home or her grief or her process. (Something we all respect about RB is how much of an ACTOR she is.) Sometimes I'd offer a nugget of advice, sometimes I'd just listen, sometimes I'd tell her something too. But I am partially closed with girls so much younger than me. I am there for them, not vice versa. What treasured sounds, the two of them blasting pop songs and doing lip trills moments before we would walk to the venue. Between noon and noon fifteen.

At rehearsal Thursday SH wears her costume ("for me" she explains). She tells me it felt wrong, to put it on without walking to my room for toothpaste. She realized before the second preview, her whitening paste sticks in her mouth, so she would come round every morning for a dab of mine. I loved my little bathroom set-up. I bought the most mid products Boots had, day two. My pink peony hand soap and my peach toner and my Addison Rae body mist. I came to, of course, adore my Addison Rae body mist. If I sniff it in a crowd one day I'm sure I'll be immediately thrust backstage of the musical shows, dousing myself before hitting the artist bar. The redhead drummer yells at me over the music and I laugh even though I struggle with his accent.

I made everyone dance to "Karma" at midnight when the best review came out. We sat in a circle on the couches before opening, the Seat watching us, as we shared one thing we admire/one thing we notice about everyone in our coven. It broke the curse. When no one was home one night I had so many feelings I sang karaoke in there all my myself. I cut dozens of cucumbers and mixed up a weird little caramel drink from Tesco and ate those square crackers and had several strawberry yogurts. Every day was longer and shorter than I could have guessed when I'd woken up, sun streaming in and seagulls making themselves known.

We rehearsed using the loveseat my flowers were good for a week or more the chocolate seahorses from the producers. It's hard. I'm completely back to reality and crashing at the same time.