People I've Fought In My Head This Week

-the student worker who is always on her phone when I entered the English dept office before class stood up and blocked me from my mailbox firmly stating, "students are not allowed back here"
-the woman who opened the office door between the hall and bathroom who said "you should have gone around" "around where" I asked "to the other side" "this huge sign says BATHROOMS THIS WAY" I said "well this door was locked" she said
-my coworker at the Writing Center who makes 50% more hourly than I do because the school enacted a pay cut right before I was hired who said when I walked in the office yesterday at 2:06 PM, "you're late"
-guy at dept. meeting who reiterated a smart suggestion a woman made back to her, acting like he was giving her advice on her own suggestion, for a solid two minutes
-every elected official who takes financial support from the NRA
-myself for not doing enough about gun violence
-other people for not even feeling guilty about not doing enough about gun violence
-the gd founding fathers
-anyone taking phone calls on the train
-anyone listening to audible music in the elevator
-the theatre company that had me write a third of a new musical over Christmas who didn't even bother to send a rejection letter until I asked
-the guy who grunts during HIIT
-my teammate who toed the line of explosive accusation and backpedalled to angst
-excessively talkative salon owner who didn't let me peacefully enjoy retail therapy
-CTA helpline person who refused to give me the office number to check if my favorite pair of gloves were indeed left there
-the whole educational institution that pumps us with spam and vital information via email one and the same
-the comedy theatre that informed me my class was cancelled only after I took off work and was standing in the foyer
-a nice aquaintance who threw in an Obama jab over tea
-my favorite student who acted like I was insane for upholding my late work policy
-waitress who teenily rolled her eyes because I didn't order wine

Honestly, when you think of how many fights I avoided, it's a modern miracle the most ridiculous thing I did this week was comment on a friend's cousin's tweet about wanting a huge engagement rock, "Diamonds are murder."