On Thanksgiving, my sister and I were on a walk, and she tweeted something I said to the effect of, "I hope Obama doesn't fix the jobs act soon because the bums calling me beautiful on the way to school is necessary to my self-esteem." I was kidding, but only kind of. Because in my short fifteen minute bike ride I usually get at least one cat call of some kind. I really have no idea why this is. I really don't understand cat calls--especially to girls on bikes.
A couple weeks ago, Ro and I were on a walk when a guy screamed out of his speeding car, "YOU'RE HOTT." I yelled in mock desperation, "Wait! Come back! If you love us, why would you leave us!?" And the car paused a couple blocks up, and we panicked before realizing there was a stop sign.
It's like...what's the purpose? It's not an actual pick-up. Is it some kind of hope to exert an uncomfortable power? To make women feel victimized for no real reason? It's not earnest. 80% of the time I'm on my bike I'm sweating my face off. And, as a strong, independent female, how does one react? I usually show I'm not intimidated and say "thank you" as I whiz by. Does this encourage that behavior? Is random yelling at women "Good morning, gorgeous" offensive in the first place? Because maybe it's not.
Today on my way to work I was stopped at a big intersection with lots of cars and people all around. A man jogged right in front of me as the crosswalk was blinking a red hand. He yelled out, "WOO! I MADE IT." And I smiled at him, because we should celebrate just making lights. He turned to me and boomed so allllll could hear: "Oh. My. GOD. You are BEAUTIFUL." Since I didn't have the security of motion, and all these people were watching, I blushed down at the ground, and put up my palm.
Immediately, a thunderous, "THAT WAS A COMPLIMENT. I'M NOT HITTING ON YOU. GET OVER YOURSELF."
And you betcha I felt victimized for no reason. And I bore a hole into the asphalt under my front tire, and I took off like a rocket when I got that green.
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1 comment:
Alice, you ARE beautiful! But seriously get over yourself. Giving a compliment about your looks is NOT giving a compliment. I don't know.
I've often wondered why dumpy men who look like crap and are three times the age of a lady yell at her on the street. Not that those guys can't be delightful and attractive. However, that is a sure way to look like a loser.
I can only conclude that guys 1) are not thinking when they do this, they clearly can't be self-conscious until you get annoyed or embarrassed and show that you have a being separate from theirs, and 2) think that they are actually making women feel better about themselves. Though what it comes down to is still option 1, because it always comes back to them with complete disregard for how the other person feels.
I really don't mind and even like a flattering, kind comment here and there, but sometimes it's downright frightening. The other day I decided to smile at guys in the next car over who were trying to get my attention. Usually I completely ignore my behavior. After the stoplight, they rolled down the window, started shouting, and drove so as to be next to me, speeding up and slowing down. They didn't give up. Yikes! I slowed down so as not to stop beside them again.
These aren't common problems for me, but when you're in an area where it happens a lot, sometimes it can be dispiriting to be constantly reminded, "Hey, always remember--you're a woman!" in a way that has nothing to do with me as an individual.
I wonder how many of these supposedly heterosexual men would feel if they were catcalled by other men every day?
I don't know if this will go through, but here's a telling video about street harassment: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WH7b4QCPuXc.
End rant.
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